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Are there people who just shouldn’t be in romantic relationships ever?

Like if they’re so incapacitated that their emotions or hormones aren’t even capable enough for relations, or if someone is so horribly cruel to their loved ones? I have been bullied my whole life and I never had a real friendship that lasted more than a year. I can’t even make real friends now because everyone else is in their own world, and it’s rude to get into their business, and I usually find out a lot of dealbreakers, that my morals clash with theirs. I never even dated in high school or college, so does that mean I shouldn’t have a relationship?

Krystal_H 4 Dec 22
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14 comments

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0

Not at all! everyone deserves to be their own person. You just haven't had the opportunity to meet someone that you can successfully relate to and who relates to you. Some people attract a certain kind of person and that trait sounds like it has you in it's grip.Try to make a change in people that you are attracted to. Easier than it sounds.

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Me for one. I do just fine with friendships but hate sex so I don't date at all. Im perfectly normal, not cruel to people or a predator. I just don't do romantic relationships.

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Of course and Romance don't want them neither. Romance is an Art Form.

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Should is not important. What I will say is if things don't change, things don't change. So given the history if you want a rerelationship I would do things differently.

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Relationships and dates or like a job interview it can go well or I can go bad either way it's expected continue to find your hay in the needle stack I mean I've been single for over 30 years I've been bullied I haven't had a female friend that last six months it is like I've been taking advantage of my kind heart and so you're fine you're soul meet eventually

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there are people who need their genitals either sewn up or cut off so I would say yes.

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My advice to you is date. Even if unsuccessful you can learn from each encounter and it will eventually get better. Just be careful. Therapy and a 12-step program helped me and my 12-step program continues to help me. As for an example of people who shouldn't be in relationship let me give you my example. I was raised by a mother without a good sense of boundaries and serious control issues. Therefore I have the male version of 'daddy-issues'. I seek out the attention and approval of women. Not nearly as bad as it used to be but still there. Combining my issue with women who have a hard time saying no to men/daddy-issues has been disastrous. I have gotten a LOT better emotionally so you can improve but I am still cautious around women with those issues.

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To me the universe seems to be more chaotic than what's inside a box full of marbles that's being shook around and most of the time I think that any set standard or guideline would hinder the beauty of existence which can definitely be a P.O.S. but the fact that it just is will never stop blowing my mind. So no it's simply ok for everyone to be able to get into a relationship, it just depends on what a person has grown into and the opinions/preferences they've developed. A person definitely shouldn't feel like they need to be in relationship though.

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I would say that there are a couple of different categories which people fall in to here.

The first category would be those who should rightfully never be allowed to be in a romantic relationship. Those with a dark nature who are so abusive and/or self absorbed that they have no capacity what so ever to bring fulfillment to another person.

The second category would be those who have unfortunate physical barriers which don't allow sexual attraction to manifest in their interactions with others. While the sexual fire which is present in the early stages of a romantic relationship does indeed cool off a bit over time, there can be no denying that this phase is very integral to the separation between what can be categorized as a genuine romantic relationship and mere friendship.

Unfortunately, the world is an ass backward place, and we often see those who fall in to the first category doing just fine when it comes to sex and romance. Meanwhile, those who fall in to the second category and are otherwise good people find themselves either living a solitary existence or settling for something less than romantically fulfilling in order to keep from being alone.

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trauma can change your perspective on relationships. sometimes therapy can help

1

Nah, it just means you should get out more and do the things that you enjoy where you might find like-minded people. When you've met someone who shares your interests and ideals, then let the story begin but don't force it by being too anxious or needy. If it doesn't work out which in most cases it won't, let it go and find someone else until someone sticks because they want to and you want them to. You'll be fine.

SamL Level 7 Dec 22, 2017
1

I never dated in high school or college either. I have very few friends. Only had 2 exes. They never loved me. Just my money and body. Well, back then I was quite chunky. Now I have an athletic build. I gave up on relationships.

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I think it's your choice if you wanna date someone or not.

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