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Heinlein::::

"""
Do not confuse “duty” with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.

But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please--this won’t take long.”

Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time--and squawk for more!

So learn to say No--and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.

(This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don’t do it because it is “expected” of you.)

"""

JacarC 8 Feb 20
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I usually believe in the strange act of self service of trusting in my own inherant ability to do the right thing, rather than duty which can become an endless game of supply and demand. Being able to say no I really do appreciate because I would think everyone would be happy to be "present" and entirely available to the moment.

"trusting in my own inherent ability to do the right thing," . . .

As we learn, with every current moment, how much of what we were told to be real, when we were very short, has become nearly completely wrong, what we think of as our "ability" is way too sadly often, no longer applicable in specific. Though, our base, instinctual, feelings are still our foundation.

It is what we were told as kiddletts, (eg: religions), that is most currently egregiously interfering with our deep need to think clearly enough to understand what our life is now.

The facts have changed. . . Yet, we still have our genes. Those of us who are able to let go of what is not, and if we can survive the journey beyond the-point-of not-return, will come to understand a different reality.

My father struggled, like many intelligent people, to understand why there were dinosaur fossils near the poles. His idea was that the earth had flopped. Even though this was way after the 1957 year of science when plate-tectonics theory was presented, he had not continued his learning enough to comprehend.I am sure now, that had he had someone, who could, explain it to him, he would have.

Near his end, he was influenced by, the mostly, propaganda the moral majority was spreading about the size of the threat of the Soviet Union, based upon the Mercator Projection (stupidly still used on net maps) that distorts the size of the earth's surface area toward the poles. The maps were/are wrong, and thankfully (praise our best deity), the war was postponed. (I have become aware of how bad it was, and how it is now affecting everyone on the planet. And am very sad for all our decedents.)

Our innate genetic predispositions (as you state) are our anchors. Sad our youth was spent amongst those who were way less knowledgeable than we are now. Of course, not their fault, as it ever was. But their subjective certainty is an impediment to our learning what we should do now.

I often ask myself, "What would Ben Franklin think?"

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Depends who asks.

Jolanta Level 9 Feb 23, 2020
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I can get behind the general message of this post, but there are a lot of examples where we have to do things that are exactly what people expect of us and that are not our own choice.
School, work... for example. Most kids do not want to go to school, and i would argue that many adults don't want to go to work. Paying taxes, jury duty, drivers test, conforming to social standards...
Yes - this post seems to be focused on doing something for free, and I get that, but the statement clearly centers on "duty" and I would argue that the scope is much larger.

scurry Level 9 Feb 21, 2020
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Not sure if I agree with you. But I believe that the most important thing for yourself is to live your truth.

as long as one doesn’t infringe on another persons “truth”...

@Santanaman9 Wouldn't that work both ways??
If my "truth" infringes on your "truth", and therefore your "truth" would most likely infringe on mine, then neither of us can live our "truth" for fear of infringing on the other and hence, we are back to doing what's expected of us...

For instance...
• If my truth is peeling the outer skin of "ubaubas" and drinking the juices, it shouldn't really interfere with anyone else's truth.
• However, you might belong to the "ubauba" culture, where "ubaubas" are sacred and therefore maybe it does interfere with your truth.
•Does that mean I can no longer drink "ubauba" juice? That doesn't seem fair.

•What if "ubaubas" are what I call dogs? Part of the world has them as pets, the other part, as food.

•What if "ubaubas" are what I call children under the age of 6 years old?

No, I don't eat dogs or children - this was a thought experiment only.
Where does one draw the line? Who gets to decide? Or should we even draw a line at all?

@scurry good exploration thanks

@Santanaman9 I've learned that everyone is doing the best that they can. One must forgive and tolerate their strangeness. I learned when I was 27 talking to people that my truths were not the same as theirs. At 23 or 24 I realised that people could have truths that diametrically seemed to oppose one another. It is all a factor of upbringing and influences. If you are 99% good don't judge those who are 99% bad because you have no idea how they became that way. I find that there are plenty I must avoid but also somehow I must love; not for Christian reasons but because we are all in this together.

@rogerbenham I appreciate your response. Your last sentence speaks volumes. Indeed, it is how we can best get along in this world and possibly evolve. thank you.

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