Bad day today. My 4yo who is on the spectrum kept screaming, screeching and hitting my 2 yo. All morning. I'm usually able to maintain, stay calm and react in the way I want to. Today I didn't handle it well and got very loud with them. Raising my boys is the hardest thing I've ever faced, maybe more so because I worry about my middle . The thing is, even when I feel like giving up I know I can't because of them.
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I am sorry. You have a very difficult situation. A child who is wired differently than you as well as every child you have had interaction with. He sees the world; it has an effect on him; he reacts in a perfectly normal child way~ for HIS wiring. But it does not match your wiring and you are at a loss, at least initially, to either predict or ameliorate it. Heck, kids wired like you and I sometimes have uncontrollable rantrums in the grocery store. But those kids are in control of choosing to begin the tantrum, though after a while they often lose control. And as frustrating as it is, you not only understand it, but you have an effect on it by in some way convincing the brat to stop. However, with your son, in my opinion, the tantrum is not under his control, which is why you try so hard NOT to react as you did. You are largely upset with yourself, I think, in doing something that came out of your feelings but made it worse, rather than better. Which you can only know by experience because the world does not look the same to you as it does to him.
Am I on the right track?
LionMousePudding
Level 6
July 30, 2018
0
True. But I also know I'm doing my best, probably better than others would. And I have to let myself "off the hook" just because it will make things worse if I don't. Also, he was being aggressive with his 2 yo brother.
@towkneed absolutely agree, to you must let yourself off the hook.
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