My son had some similar issues, over time, as he matured, became better with expressing with language and learning how to identify and manage his own feelings, he did get better. at 26, he understand that you can do your best, be absolutely perfect, and still not win. that is life. took a lot of patience and letting him have fits, of course there were boundaries with consequences, if he hit someone, broke his things, or others people's things, even hurting himself. being angry and frustrated are not bad things to experience, i believe it just important to learn how to manage them and use that energy to learn and move forward with the things we can do well at. i am amused when he attempts to pass his wisdom down to younger people that are struggling, as well as being proud that he has matured and grown to be a fine young man. this is what i tell folks, autism is a moving spectrum, i had to learn and adjust before there was a proper way of diagnosing or addressing it..it's not easy trying to help them find their way.

%Yes. My son was always just like that. It got so that we would not play any more. We'd take him to mini golf, and just let him play. He was like that pretty much all through childhood. He's slightly better now at 20 though. But even in school, he felt he had to get all A's, 100 %, top grades, first chair orchestra, etc.. Swimming was a good sport for him because it was about beating his own best time. He was and still is prone to self injure when he feels he doesn't live up to his own very high expectations. The problem is this: They don't see grey. It's only black, or white. Best, or worst. There's no in between. So if they are not the very best (winner) then they are the "very worst" in their minds. It's a rigid thought pattern. Social stories and video modeling can sometimes help.

My 4yo on the spectrum is very competitive. But he goes to a clinic type place for preschool and therapy so it's not a problem. Yet. But I could see it becoming something difficult.

I think it's a skill that can be learned over time, depending on the child. My kid does ok - he does a lot of online gaming and obviously spends a lot of time losing. But my child can't function in school in general so I homeschool him. All kids are different.

My youngest son always throws a fit when things don't go his way. If you interfere he goes violent. They say that might be autism. He is 4 getting more help.

I have a daughter with autism, this has nothing to do with her. I am extremely competitive and when I was growing up I had the similar problems, I hated to lose. I eventually found sports like cross-country running, cross-country skiing, where I was competing against myself worked out better.