Venting here.
Our middle child is on the spectrum. He has a moderate amount of bad/destructive behavior. I know he's a handful and can be hard to handle. I understand all this but I still have a lot of great times with him. I take both our boys most of the time, to the park or just outside in the backyard or even just in the bedroom for movie time. I enjoy it, although it can be really hard when the meltdowns happen or when he's mean to his little brother. But it really bothers me that my wife never wants to do anything with them. She will spend time with their care, but most all the rest of the time she acts like it's such a chore to spend time with her boys. And when she looses her patience with our middle child she says things like "get out of here! I don't want you around!" And when he's mean to his brother repeatedly (as older brothers are) she tells him he's a bully and she can't stand bullies. She suffers from depression and is very melodramatic and catastrophizes everything. Anyway, I have talked to her about it and she will be better but always goes back. Just venting. I am trying to make it better but I just get so tired of her seeing it all as being about her.
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3 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I cannot really add anything extra to what the GreatNani has said. She understands the American system far more than I do. I work in the Scottish system and there will be differences in support levels.
However, if you'd like someone to hear you out and maybe give some objective commentary, I'm willing to do so.
Sofabeast
Level 7
Feb 3, 2020
0
It is very difficult to be the parent of a child with a disability. She needs mental health help for herself. And help with your son. Is he receiving services? He should be receiving ABA it will help with the melt downs. Caregivers struggle with depression and anxiety. The whole family will need support.
GreatNani
Level 8
Feb 2, 2020
2
He is. And she's on medication as well and will talk to someone only if I force it.
That's so sad. Poor kiddos deserve to feel loved by their mom. Glad that they have you to step in and fill that void for them as best you can. I can't imagine what it must feel like to be treated that way by your own mom. She has to try to understand that first: they are JUST KIDS. And second; the one on the spectrum doesn't act melt down because he wants to. Autists feel terrible about themselves after a meltdown. I recommend the book Neurotribes. It's so informatIve and enlightening.
AgnoLulu
Level 5
Feb 2, 2020
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