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Morning all. Self proclaimed 'gender atheist' here. Quite happy doing the 'situationally genderfluid' t-h-i-n-g: bloke mode for work and where it just isn't practical do do girl mode. Girl mode socially. I'm non-closet and out to everyone of any importance to me, including my (now 13 year old) son, all of my friends and everyone at work.

Prior to the new terminology coming a t-h-i-n-g (genderfluid, genderqueer etc.) I happily identified as a transvestite. I don't t-h-i-n-k it should be a dirty word (thanks, Rocky Horror.) Contrary to what others seem to t-h-i-n-k, I don't believe it's classified as a fetishistic disorder by DSM-V, unless qualified as 'fetishistic transvestism.' Add 'fetishistic' to a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g, and it's a fetish. Just because some people are shoe fetishists, it doesn't follow that everyone who wears shoes is one.

So I'm still going by the tagline Transvesticus Gregarius on a certain trans website. I'm sure it ruffles a few feathers. It certainly gives a few gatekeepers a chance to take pot shots at my not being trans enough, and therefore not being trans at all. So it's nice to be somewhere expressly for NB's.

Edit: Forum software is dropping 't-h-i-n' without the dashes again 😟

NicoleCadmium 7 May 9
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1

I totally get that! By cis enough and not trans enough is just another type of closet. I love that every single point on the gender spectrum has a group now. We all have validation, even if it's small and online. It has done a lot for me recently. Welcome to the perfect little group For you 🙂 what is the NB community like where you live?

Peeves Level 6 May 9, 2018

Thanks for the warm welcome 🙂

There isn't much of a non-binary community here. Most of my trans friends are on the road to transition. Some at supercar speeds, others at a snail's pace, but all ultimately headed to that destination or already there.

@NicoleCadmium I get that. It's hard to stay in the middle, I'm finding a lot of people are very aggravated by it. They need to choose left or right, and not sit on the fence. I kinda like the fence right now.

@Peeves Yup. I still think a lot of people are trying to figure it out, and as @birdingnut says below, a lot of classically transgender (destined to be transsexual) people are very heavily invested in the binary. I like the flexibility that the non-binary options give, but they do get treated much as bisexuals often do by straight and gay people: othered from both sides - too much/not enough 'whatever' to be 'one of us.'

1

You are who you are, and it's nobody else's job, or business, to dictate what you should be.

It's funny how this pans out. You finally reject the pressure to 'man up' only to find it replaced with different pressure to be a cliché of femininity.

Attached is my Facebook backdrop that I've been using for the last couple of years.

@NicoleCadmium Yes-many transgender people are fanatically invested in the gender binary, which I reject. I dress androgynously, but a female-bodied person is allowed to wear male clothing, although it doesn't go the other way.

Just keep fighting back. In Thailand, people can present as they wish, due to Thai Buddhism accepting a Third Gender.

@birdingnut A lot of it (in Western society, at least) is down to fear of the penis. Given that it can't be easily detached and locked away somewhere, it has to be kept under two layers of sturdy crotched clothing at all times. Penises are seen as rape weapons, while vaginas are considered benign.

You can cover a vagina in as few or as many layers of clothing as you like, and nobody's bothered as long as it's hidden from view. The only purpose of hiding it (and avoiding clothing that might suggest that it is easily accessible) being to avoid tempting people with penises to do things that are assumed to come naturally to them. "She was wearing a short skirt? Well she was asking for it then."

Secure a penis behind too few layers, and people start to get nervous. The assumption is that everyone who has one is only ever one momentary lapse of self control away from shoving it inside someone who doesn't want it. I don't have a predatory bone in my body. I have a very strong preference for the passive sexual role. Yet I'm still supposed to play by the 'two layers of sturdy crotched clothing' rule, because I'm still considered a potential rapist by virtue of being anatomically able to rape.

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Posted by birdingnutNot all religion is totally evil.

Posted by BookDeathHere's a pic of my new haircut! I got it for ACE WEEK! The comet symbol represents GENDER NEUTRAL and the circle represents ACE.

Posted by BookDeathI FINALLY got my binder from g2cb! I bought one of the nude tank binders. It is proving a life-changing experience. I do not why I waited so long?

Posted by birdingnutI'm a nonbinary/partial transmale, but luckily I'm taking high THC Indicus cannabis oil for cancer treatment, which suppresses my strong male tendencies.

Posted by SkeezwazzleSooo Happy to be free of those testicles!! Day 7.

Posted by PeevesWhen I was in school for photography I discovered my professor was quite against gay rights and thought we just needed to meet someone good in bed and get some mental help.

Posted by BookDeathI also posted this in the LGBTQ group so it's a cross-posting. For Pride Month, I designed my own Chucks at Converse. I can't afford them (yet) but felt like showing off my creation!

Posted by BookDeathI also posted this in the LGBTQ group so it's a cross-posting. For Pride Month, I designed my own Chucks at Converse. I can't afford them (yet) but felt like showing off my creation!

Posted by PeevesWe don't want extra visibility, just some.

Posted by PeevesHehehe it's hard to unsee it once you see it.

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