Retrospection. Introspection. Failure. Do you find looking back and your thoughts focus more on the failures, lost opportunities, choices with negative results and how things might be different now if....?
Normally I don't. Lately I have been more, but all my what ifs are related to my sexual abuse. I am healing, but sometimes seeing how deeply effected I am, I can't help but wonder what life would have been without those experiences. The only answer is I have no clue. I can never know. It bothers me, but I'll never be the person I could have been without those experiences because those experiences have definitely shaped me.
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