After being an awesome relationship for 27 years I am single. For the first time in 30 years I am getting ready to live on my own. It's really kind of a weird feeling to be single at 58 yrs old. I'm not interested in getting into another relationship, I have a strong community and circle of friends but it just feels weird. Wondering if anyone else a similar story.
Yep, I kinda fit in rather easily to this string of stories. Married 25 years, separated at age 47 with a 12 year old son, then co-parenting after that. Aside from the "little" issue of me preferring men ( I did not cheat on her; it just became less satisfying over time for both of us), she was very opinionated and blunt, not the easiest to live with, and I was mostly a conflict avoider So to be in my own space and "master of my domain" in more ways than one (Ha!) has been very positive. I don't want to give that up. It did become important for me to build a new social network. It has made all the difference. I joined a local gay men's chorus, as well as a local freethinkers group, and this (not so local) chat site, which has been good.
I eventually started seeing someone, which is good, and he, like me, is busy enough with work and tending his own house, that we both very much still have our own space, simply texting a few days a week and getting together when we can, mostly once a weekend, though that is not set in stone. For now, it is just the balance I want. The multiple social outlets are key.
5 years ago, after 17 years. I thought it'd be a lot harder than it was. Yes, when you find yourself alone on New Year's Eve, it can be a bit depressing, but most of the time, I find it just plain wonderful to have my own company. In fact, I like it so much that while I do want a committed relationship with someone, I'm not sure I ever want to take it as far as cohabiting again. Someone who lives less than an hour away, willing to get together most weekends and stay in touch during the week, would be perfect.
Go to bed when you want (my ex used to sulk if I went to bed before she did) and get up when you want on weekends. Leave empty wrappers in the fridge, just because you can. Eat cup noodles in the bath, again, because you can.
I agree that social networking is a big boon. You can dip in and out of interacting with other people as suits your mood. I tend to do 1 or 2 social nights out per month, too, which is infinitely more than I was allowed to do as part of a couple. My son stays most weekends. He didn't this weekend, which felt a bit empty, but it did give me a chance to get some housework done. While he officially lives with his mother, he typically spends 3 nights a week with me, 2 staying over at school, and 2 with her.
My relationship wasn’t awesome but it did last 18 years. I was almost 50 so, almost, been 10 years ago. My grief over the pain that I caused her has never ended but I do like being alone. Free. So the aftermath has been okay by me. That’s largely because she had a long time friend, who is now one of my very dearest friends, who now takes care of her. Still costing me financially but that’s the deal I made.
I would not have made it without Facebook, though. The many conversations, at all hours, kept me from ever feeling lonely. I also tend to work later hours so don’t go to bars or events. Keeps expenses low. I do a Meetup group or two each week to keep me in practice. I’m getting on their nerves, though, as I’m unconventional.
Me ended up single after 25 years at 59 am 63 now and having a great time I also have friends and events in my life and an occasional lover, If you have interest there are meetup groups to do almost anything that you enjoy and looking what is going on in your area there is a lot of fun to be had
I don't like being alone and single--no real friends I can hang out with. Small town.
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