I think it's extremely difficult to find someone who actually knows that love is an action, and not a feeling.

There are a lot of men out there who are naturally gay or bi, but who get forced down the righteous path of heterosexuality by family and society in general. They feel they can 'make do' with opposite sex intimacy, when secretly they crave same sex intimacy at least as much, if not more.

Eventually, they reach a breaking point where they can no longer go without scratching the itch. And off they go into the world, looking for sex with men, while the wife sits at home, oblivious.

Of course there's often more to it than that. There are men whose marriages have failed, who are sticking around for the sake of their kids and out of fear of losing more than half of their stuff in a divorce. Quite often, they've had same sex urges previously, but when she was still Miss Right, all of those urges went away and they only had eyes for her. Once the honeymoon period is over, they revert to type.

Yes, the married bi-curious guy is very common. As are men who come out as gay in their 30s or 40s after spending some time in straight relationships or marriages. If society actually gave them its blessing to go forth and be gay, they probably would have done so from the outset. But it's still a far easier life if you can get by as a practising heterosexual. And that's before the pressure from parents who feel they have a right to become grandparents.

If dating as gay is a nightmare, then dating as a gender non-conforming one is worse. Stuck between the gay guys who fancy you but think they shouldn't because of the dresses, and the straight guys who fancy you but think they shouldn't because of what's underneath them. That leaves bi and genuinely trans-attracted men, most of whom just treat you as a TILF. When you do finally get with a gay guy, the vast majority either want to have sex with you once and then erase you from existence (apart from the all important notch on their bedpost) or they're choosing bridesmaids dresses after exchanging three texts.

I become increasingly cynical as time goes by, but I haven't given up hope quite yet.

Relationships are extremely hard to come by. In large part for reasons you stated, but there are others as well. I have resigned myself to seeking friendship amd companionship in my later years. Just too much emotional energy dealing with people on an intimate level.

I don't feel like a magnet but I have in the past encountered people in relationships. Because I live by some very strict consent rules I always ask about other partners and whether they are aware of the intended activity. I'm fine with open relationships and being with married people but only as long as the partner knows and is ok with it. I also know cheaters are going to lie, so I always want to talk to the partners directly before proceeding with intimacy. If folks are not being open and honest with their partners, I can't be sure they are being open and honest with me. Liars and cheaters can find their pleasure somewhere else.

There are lots of reasons why people remain in relationships in which they are unhappy. Kids, financial security, fear of change...

I am finding that, in my age-range (let's just say 40-57 with me at the leading edge, LOL!) people tend to have a lot off issues and/or baggage. Even though they are putting themselves out there, they may not be ready. I have connected with two women from this site and neither of them will follow-through and actually meet me in-person, despite showing clear interest in me. I haven't experienced "married magnet syndrome" yet.