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I'm a demisexual, panromantic, partial transmale and possible pansexual, although since I'm on the asexual spectrum, hard to tell.

When I return to the US, I plan to visit a lesbian bar and see if I can score a kiss to see how I react. However, would this be seen as a false tease, a form of exploitation, or other such?

Here in Thailand, where so many seem to be bisexual, married women hit on me constantly and I have to be very careful around them since, when I don't reciprocate their feelings, they have taken revenge on me. I don't want any more people angry with me.

birdingnut 8 Mar 22
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I hadn't done anything "flirty" or sexual to anyone, since I don't feel sexual attraction for any person or gender until after over a year of close contact.

Yet Thai women continue to believe we are an item. Two bosses and two supervisors, beautiful, married, etc., and any number of others, have not only decided that we are a couple, but took revenge on me when I seemed clueless to this belief. I just went about my teaching duties, and only engaged in small talk.

But lest I blame Thai culture, this has happened all my life. Now that I am aware I'm a partial transmale I have a different understanding why a childhood US girl friend stopped talking to me when I got a boyfriend, and never talked to me again. I've always been a neutral sort, without awareness of sex, so I'm guessing my male energy is the problem.

When I moved to Thailand in 2010, several of my daughter's grown friends messaged me on Facebook to proclaim their love for me since childhood. But several of my son's friends, and several of my Kentucky neighbors, did the same, and since I only thought of them as kids when I knew them, I don't get it.

I never in my wildest imagination saw these people as romantic prospects. But maybe the problem is that people on the asexual spectrum don't "get" sexual attraction and the part it plays in the lives of normal people. I can't imagine it myself, so don't understand the reactions of others.

If this is the case, my being on the asexual spectrum is a blessing, apparently.

birdingnut Level 8 Mar 22, 2018
2

Thank you! You made me finally look up "demisexual". When I told an old friend I am pansexual, he started calling me a skilletsexual, and then asked me if I was non-stick. I won't say how far I ran with that one.

I'm completely out-of-the loop. I was doing BGLT (I may have CDO) activism in the late 80s/early 90s, People seemed pretty polarized. Hopefully things have changed. My trans-niece's friends (late-teens to mid-twenties) mostly seem to be very open and accepting, but they are across the orientation spectrum.

Some women would be pleased to be your experimental kiss. I'd volunteer, except that I have HSV-1. I think as long as you're upfront with your intentions and goal, women hopefully will at least respond civilly.

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Be upfront with people and they'll not feel deceived feeling. Thereby ending any others getting angry at you. I'm bisexual and my pet peeve is dishonesty. Maybe that's what you're running into??

@ashortbeauty: I had a now ex-friend get angry with me because I didn't dump my male partner after she and I were spending time together. The most we ever did physically was hug for extended periods. I think she thought I'd suddenly "jump off of the fence" and become her exclusive lesbian lover. I saw us as friends, and didn't realize she wanted more. She didn't deal well with not getting what she wanted.

People often assume. Good communication on both parts helps, but I have found that not everyone is willing to make the effort, and some people don't respond well to what they perceive as being rejected.

Sometimes you're just damned if you do, and damned if you don't (so to speak). 🙂

@ailurophile I hear ya

@ailurophile out sounds like your friend wasn't being nobody with you or herself. Or you guys just didn't know each other well enough yet

@ashortbeauty "wasn't being nobody"? I don't understand.

@ailurophile it should have read "honest"
Stupid autocorrect

@ashortbeauty Heh! Otto Kerrekt has much to answer for.

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