I saw the surgeon today. Im going to have surgery june 7. Im so depressed despite the prozac. I don't want to be mutilated. I don't want radiation and chemo, i don't want reconstruction. Im finally feeling successful in my chosen field but might not be able to work for more than a year. I hate this.
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4 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Thank you all for the encouragement. I'm not feeling brave. I'm very nervous and anxious. They have greatly increased the Prozac dose. My greatest fear is loosing my livelihood. I work extremely hard to be successful. I'll keep everyone posted.
confidentrealm
Level 7
May 21, 2019
1
You are so brave and honest you inspire me with both your art and attitude....the lucky guy you choose to be with you will glow with joy ....a courageous Atheist mate for life could not be better than you
GreenAtheist
Level 8
May 21, 2019
0
I know how difficult this is for you. Nobody wants these things. I had bilateral mastectomies, chemo and radiation for stage 3 breast cancer . I just passed my 7 year cancerversary. And yes, it was definitely worth it because I will be able to attend my son's wedding next week. The cancer treatment wasn't bad. I opted for the latissimus flap reconstruction, which gave me nothing but problems. I wish I'd never done it.
Your doctor is an idiot for making that stupid remark. Most people lives paycheck to paycheck these days. I assume your company doesn't offer long term disability insurance.
TheoryNumber3
Level 8
May 2, 2019
4
I'm self employed. I've worked very hard to be successful but I've had very difficult times since I was diagnosed. I'm taking hormone blockers . The cancer looks like its going away but the doctor says it isn't. They are afraid it is going to my lungs but that's one place they haven't biopsied yet. I'd like to know more about the reconstruction surgery and what happened. Thank you for your kind reply.
@confidentrealm I'll respond privately in a message if that's ok
I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal with cancer, I know what you are going through.
19dacar52
Level 7
May 2, 2019
1
Have you been cured?
@confidentrealm Yes. I had lung cancer, I has my upper left lobe removed then had to have radiation treatment and chemotherapy. I was diagnosed and treated 21 years ago.
@19dacar52 wow. That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. This is really scary stuff. I'm so afraid of losing my profession. I've worked very hard to build it up and the doctor says, well I should have saved money for expenses while I undergo treatment for a year. Lol. They obviously know nothing about real life. It just hurts me so. Did you have trouble bouncing back after you were cured? How did you survive financially?
@confidentrealm I was very fortunate, I was only in the hospital for 5 or 6 days and missed about a month of work before going back part time. I had good insurance and my employer was very good to me, they kept paying me after I had used up my sick pay. I recovered from the operation quickly, I think it was because I had been doing a lot of cycling at the time. I rode my bike to work every day and on the weekends. I had 33 days of radiation treatments and 4 chemotherapy treatments. The chemotherapy was an 8 hour infusion with 3 weeks between each treatment.
@19dacar52 you were very fortune indeed. I'm self employed. I just came home from conducting a painting class and I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck. I keep asking myself if all this is going to be worth it. I have a bucket list I dearly want to complete. I don't feel my life will be complete without it but I question if I will be physically able. I'm so alone. Thank you for replying to my post.
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