Cheesy Jokes


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Posts Tagged "wife" By Brbaldwin (43) Posts by anyone

Cheesy Jokes

4 days ago4d

Posted by Zealandia

I have bought my wife a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

2 comments

Cheesy Jokes

1 week ago1w

Posted by Zealandia

My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So I bought her a candle.

Guys, I need help here. I just had an argument with my wife & she told me I was right. "What do I do next?"

My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied "No... She responded: "How about now?"

3 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Aug 11Aug 11

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name. So I called her Bluff.

0 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Jun 21Jun 21

Posted by Zealandia

My wife thinks it's weird that I stare at the window during a heavy rainstorm. It would be a lot less weird if she'd just let me in.

2 comments

Posts

Mar 18Mar 18

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

My wife won’t let me get a tattoo of a grizzly bear on each bicep... She is infringing on my right to bear arms!

1 comment

Cheesy Jokes

Feb 18Feb 18

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

0 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Feb 13Feb 13

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

When my wife was in labor, I would tell her jokes to distract her from the pain, but she didn’t seem amused. It must have been the delivery.

0 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Jan 17Jan 17

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

For her birthday present, I took my wife to an orchard, and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour. Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

2 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Jan 17Jan 17

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

For her birthday present, I took my wife to an orchard, and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour. Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

2 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Jan 16Jan 16

Posted by anglophone

Husband to au pair just before dinner: "Have you laid the table?" Au pair: "No, but I have just laid your wife."

0 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Dec 24, 2023Dec 2023

Posted by Zealandia

I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace" So I bought her nothing.

1 comment

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Dec 21, 2023Dec 2023

Posted by Zealandia

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline. She hit the ceiling!

3 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Dec 16, 2023Dec 2023

Posted by Zealandia

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

2 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Nov 22, 2023Nov 2023

Posted by Zealandia

I told my wife I saw an alien on the way to work this morning She said “How do you know it’s on its way to work?”

3 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Sep 23, 2023Sep 2023

Posted by Zealandia

My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl. I told her that I didn’t know he played cricket.

4 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Aug 30, 2023Aug 2023

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

My wife went to a roofing seminar for women only. She said it was great. All the shingle ladies were there.

3 comments

Shared from General & Hellos

Apr 29, 2023Apr 2023

Posted by Zealandia

My wife asked me, “Why don’t you treat me like you did when we were first dating!?” So I took her to dinner and a movie... Then dropped her off at her parents’ house.

2 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Mar 13, 2023Mar 2023

Posted by Zealandia

My wife and I sometimes disagree about whether to add eggs to cream. Custardy disputes are always rough.

A married couple in their 60s are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. 'I want to travel around the world with my husband', said the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand. Husband says, 'sorry luv, but my wish ...

1 comment

Cheesy Jokes

Feb 5, 2023Feb 2023

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

Ouch!!!!............. Husband: Honey, I broke a glass in the kitchen. Wife: I am coming with the broom. Husband: It’s not urgent. You can walk.

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with pens. Bye, Rose.

My wife told me to stop making camera puns. I told her to stop focusing on the negatives and develop a sense of humour. She left me in a flash.

1 comment

Cheesy Jokes

Nov 2, 2022Nov 2022

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

I once bought a wooden car, with a wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden wheels, and wooden seats. I then put the wooden key in the wooden ignition. It wooden start.

2 comments

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Posts Tagged "wife" By Brbaldwin (43) Posts by anyone

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