With my ex I was just glad when he went to work and left the house. He was a total misogynist jerk who thought women were born to serve men. If he ever criticized anything I did, I didn't do it again.

So eventually I stopped cooking for him, stopped going with him to visit his mother, stopped having sex with him, and kicked him out. We all breathed a sigh of relief.

Excellent article, and demonstrates how clueless most men are. When a guy is passive-aggressive it is disrespectful. For you women, why put up with this? No one is worth ongoing disrespect.

I get it. I give of myself and my time to some of my male friends, as friends do, but it's not reciprocated in the same way. I'm used to it now.

Not all men and women are the same however. But I have noticed a definite pattern.

Some of this might come from the patriarchy, homophobia and misogyny, which all work together to shame and repress men.

Men are not allowed their finer feelings. They often feel inhibited opening up to other men. So it's no wonder really.

So it's not men's fault. It's our culture.

I think this is going to be really difficult to change until both boys and girls grow up in equitable households. My marriages did not survive this sort of nonsense. I did discover an object lesson that infuriated them but actually made them think (and get really angry at me). Even if one of them agreed to shop, they always expected me to provide a list -- even if they were going to cook. They never stopped to think about supplies that are always necessary. SO......I would buy and stash some toilet paper. And then I'd wait. Invariably I'd get a frantic shout from the bathroom that there was no toilet paper. I'd ask if there was any in the cupboard. No, there wasn't. Then I asked whether, since they were going to do the shopping, they had bought some. Of course not. I asked whether it had slipped their mind that they would use the bathroom at home at some point and that it would be nice if there was toilet paper. Now they were getting angry. I produced the toilet paper and pointed out how screwed they would have been if I hadn't made sure there was some. To me, if I have to make the damned list (complete with details about brand and specifications) I might as well do the shopping myself. Oh, did I mention I've been divorced twice?

I really believe that this is changing generationally. I have a grandson who does his own laundry, cleans his room and helps a lot with chores around the house. That is because he was trained to do this. Men in my generation were not trained as children to do what was called "women's work".
If only a couple would talk about these types of things before they married or lived together it might help. If you go to a man's home and it looks like an explosion went off then don't expect anything else If you decide to cohabitate.
I actually thought this article was whiney. Have communication and don't set up expectations. And if you can afford it, get a cleaning lady.

My marriage did not survive this. It does get exhausting to have to tell a grown man to do the dishes or mow the lawn or pick up the living room or FUCKING ANYTHING since you are unemployed and I work full fucking time and why do I have to do EVERY FUCKING THING?? Sigh...

Hi, Sassy,

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