Sorry you have to deal with that. Have lost some platonic friends myself because a partner or spouse was jealous. I get it though: the partner comes first. Even if I think it's unreasonable.

Thanks to everyone for the comments! I am not going to go into any more detail, but suffice it to say that I do not subscribe to the traditional idea that two or more people who belong to complementary sexual orientations cannot be platonic friends, nor do I think it is harmful to have private conversations with said friends, as long as no trust is being betrayed.

Love and compassion knows no bounds in my worldview, but I also have a deep respect for others and I never want to get between another relationship. That’s not my place. I just wish I could in some way assure the spouse that nothing untoward was going on, without making the situation worse. Alas I do not think this is possible, unless that person reaches out to me on their own.

Anyway, I am feeling better all the time, and I am sure it will be soon that I will get used to this new normal. I will still always be there for my friend if they need me, and I do not plan on ceasing communication altogether.

Trying to isolate someone is a classic sign she is in an abusive controlling realationship and you need to remain near when the fallout happens

It is about you. accept it and move on.

It will never be the same.

Friend? Spouse? Do you mean your male friend is upset because you are friends with his wife, or is his wife upset because you are too close to her husband?

If it's his wife, then you might have crossed some social line, met her alone, had dinner with her, gone to her house when he was gone, etc.

In which case, he has a reason to be concerned. Real friends just meet up with other friends in public..no getting together in private, privately messaging.

Everyone needs to sort out their own priorities. You can't force a situation like that, it either feels comfortable or not. I'd just pull back a bit and wait to see what happens. A real friend will remain a real friend.

Had a weird recent encounter whereas a longtime friend of mine was more attentive than ever ..as her new guy was justifiably concerned. I’m remaining aloof, though my friend’s closer contact has me puzzled. Probably why I look for long-term commitments ..as the short term stuff puzzles me to no end (vent away)