The infant mortality rate was not necessarily high among early humans, although the fecundity rate was - statistically, if memoyt serves, nomadic hunter-gatherer family averaged a birth once every four years, compared to every two years in agrarian societies (of course, their life expectancy was much less than our own today). However, some the very worst infant mortality occurred in towns and cities of the Industrial Revolution, and the mortality rate among new mothers remained staggeringly high, at least in Europe, from at least the Middle Ages until the late nineteenth century and the realization that dirt spread disease.

As to the reaction to early death amongst infants and children, life was much cheaper and death a more familiar constant. Few children would reach maturity without having watched a sibling die, and even in the Victorian age, it was far from uncommon for a man to have remarried, having lost his previous wife in childbirth.

Humans are so uncomfortable with the unknown & unexplained. Those that wish to keep it simple use the god answer for it all. Those that want the truth are patiently waiting for answers & studying science. Grief is not something one can alleviate. It is a human condition one must work through. A shock to the psyche that must be healed by work & time. The god method is a tool for that end. not one of my tools. Human contact is another. If one does not follow the stages of grief, one becomes stuck & then needs guidance in order to complete the process. The healthy brain will eventually reset. The unhealthy brain has to seek professional help. Ungrasp the stigma & seek support through counseling.

It's an ignorant platitude (and I say this as someone who used to say it until I realised how ignorant it was). I try to educate others who still say it how it lands, in a gentle way. There's no point shaming them, as doing that will likely cement their beliefs than help them learn how poorly it comes across, as it's a balm people use to explain away the pain and find meaning in random tragedies.

One of the cruelest comments I ever heard was from a woman who missed a connection on flight 800, the one that blew up over the Atlantic. "God was looking out for me that day!" And thought, you stupid, ignorant bitch! A plane goes down, killing hundreds of men, women, CHILDREN and BABIES! But "god" saved YOUR sorry ass!? That attitude is the most disgusting aspect of "religion," and I hear similar comments from so-called "Christians" all the time.

In essence its true, everything happens because of a reason, main reason being "it was due to happen". Non believers need consolation too, we all have losses in life, but that phrase is a terrible thing to say, to anyone. Believers some time say it was in God's plan. How can they possibly know. That phrase is wrong too.

Whenever someone tells me that "everything happens for a reason," I think of this picture:

I've had a couple tragedies in this lifetime and what I found actually comforted me was a friend who would come over and drink a bottle of wine with me. Talk, reminisce, keep me distracted for a while. Platitudes are meaningless.

This one drives me crazy too. Do these people think this through at all? Or have they for some (religious?) reason built up a mental wall in front of the obvious?
Some of you old folks, like me, may remember the Thalidomide tragedy of the sixties. Those women had no reason to suspect the drug was dangerous at the time. Only after thousands of horribly deformed babies were born was the connection made. Try telling one of those mothers "It's OK, everything happens for a reason..."

My granddaughter committed suicide two years ago. It, the moment of time was surreal, functioning to support the family, friends but definitely walking through jello. I just willed my body to be with my daughter through the drama of allowing often complete strangers to enter our grief.
*sitting in the front row of a church hall, having a strange preacher say he wasn't going to preach then hear him say that God doesn't want us to hurt ourself. I wanted to jump up an scream at him...shut up! My child is devastated...her child can't hear you. Instead, I waited for him to look my way....his eyes met mine and read my lips as I kept repeating..."Stop it...stop it..stop it!"
He wrapped up quickly and disappeared into the group before I could approach him. He was fortunate to miss my intended conversation.
Grief is not to be managed but embraced as it is replaced somewhat will the gratitude of loving the person who has died. My own thoughts..everyone has their own path.

All You Need Is Love ?

Agree. Good post!