I have a smile on my face that masks the pain I really feel. Men aren't supposed to cry so all my tears flow inwards drowning my fragile little heart.
I'm surrounded by people who genuinely love me but I've never felt so alone in my life.
To the world I feel like a stranger so why I'm I even here?
Why am I alive?
Why was I born?
Its clear that I don't belong here, so where do I go?
All questions I ask myself whenever I look in a mirror because I don't even recognize my own reflection.
I'm at the point in life where hope meets hopelessness,
I'm treading on the thin line between life and death,
And at this point death looks like a really sweet deal,
I'm behind the dark alleys where lost souls wonder aimlessly as time moves by slowly withering this mass of cells.
Everyday I take to my normal routine facing a day at a time and it feels like I'm in a loop because its always the same, it never gets better and no one ever seems to care, no one understands or are they just ignoring me?
Every thing I do is a cry for help every move, every breath, every moment I'm alive but no one ever seems to give a crap.
I'm constantly looking behind my back since it always feels like a dark cloud is always over my head.
No matter how bright the day is there is always a dark part in me, nothing good ever comes my way its like I've been cursed to suffer all my life.
I've lost the ability to feel anything within my heart,
I've lost the ability to love,
I've lost the ability to connect with anyone,
I've lost touch with reality and now I'm wondering, WHAT'S THE POINT??
Whats the point of living when all I know is pain and heartbreak?
Whats the point of living when all I've been through is hell on earth?
Whats the point of living when everything has turned its back on me?
Whats the point of anything really??
So here I am holding a bottle of sleeping pills and this bottle of scotch wondering, is this life worth living when its all pain, suffering and misery.
WHAT'S THE POINT!!