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My sister is getting married in October in a catholic wedding(I know, Blah). We're close so she wants me as a groomsman. I of course gratefully accepted becauae I live my sister. Not stoked about the ceremony though. Any thoughts? Also, I'm looking for some kind of liner to wear in my shoes so my heathrn feet don't catch fire in the church. Anyone know where I can get something like that? A religion resistant shoe insole?

Eric84 4 June 22
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33 comments

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0

Asbestos I can tell you're out of luck with your footwear. But I wish you all a very happy future ?

7

Wear a T shirt under your clothes that says Fuck the Church. That will save your sanity.

???

7

Cushy rubber soles and fire retardent tux . Maybe knee braces for all the stand up sit down rah rah rah

HAHA!!!!

6

Just so we're all clear. I never asked if I should go on this post. I will go and will have fun the whole time. It was just a post on the irony of an athiest being a part of a catholic wedding. Have a nice day. ?

Eric84 Level 4 June 23, 2018

@Ciravolostone haha. For sure. I'll let him know.

5

Interesting that youre wanting to save your sole. Just think of it as theater.

5

She's getting married, not becoming a nun. I used to tolerate lousy TV shows that my ex enjoyed. Just deal with it.

godef Level 7 June 23, 2018
4

That is good advice to concentrate on not rolling your eyes at some of the statements. That would be my hardest challenge in your place. Otherwise, just zone out and be there for your sister, not necessarily her faith. That is definitely a tougher assignment than a religious person having to attend a non-religious wedding. Keep your cool and celebrate your sister's choice, though it may differ from what you would choose.

3

Entertain yourself checking out the bridesmaids. There's a high percentage several of them will be willing to show you where the coat closet is later. ?

I certainley hope so. My sister has some hit friends.

3

I just attended a service for my cousin. I refuse to do any hand gestures or mouth along with the ceremony. The fact that you are there is enough to show your love and support. I normally try to distract myself by admiring the architecture of the church. When you strip the spirituality away from a building, it does still have a appreciation for what a man can make with his bear hands.

3

You're a good brother. Enjoy the party.

3

Ha!

It sounds like you are coming at it from a healthy place. Just remember that the ceremony is about her and her fiance. If people say "bow your heads", then feel free not to. Just don't engage in religion debate as a whole, but on certain things... "do you rally think it was a talking snake?" It'll come across harmless to moderates and allow you to be true to yourself.

Be sure to hit on a single bridesmaid if you are single as well and have a good time after the religious nonsense. Congrats to her and your family!

3

Dance ???

3

This is your sister’s special day! She wants you to be there with her! I would go as I am, as love is expressed with caring and support by agnostics and atheists and the religious, with the ‘heart!’ The words that are spoken there must fit the couple that are getting married, hopefully words that will be helpful to them in their future, together! My guess is...you want be alone with your different belief system, there are still lots of ‘closet’ disbelievers in the world. Good luck!

2

Whatever anxiety is experienced during the ceremony can be compensated for during the reception. If it's not an open bar, bring your own. Dance with everyone. Heckle the band. One of two things should occur: you will have the time of your life and be lauded by all in attendance or you will never have to do it again.

2

If there's one thing Catholics know how to do it is throw a party.

2

I used to have to hang around the church sometimes because my late wife was into it. I met some very nice people with whom I still go out to dinner. And my grand children both asked to be christened. (Both are agnostic now). Just try to keep a straight face when supernatural beings are mentioned.

2

Honestly, it doesn't bother me. I've been to many wedings, and funerals that took place in a church. The way I figure it is they don't give me shit about my non-beliefs, so I won't give them shit about their beliefs. In the end it's all about you being there for your sister. The venue shouldn't matter.

1

Line your shoes with the ashes of burned bible pages. Just kidding. You'll get thru the ceremony just fine because you love your sister.

1

Just do your best Golem impersonation. "it burns us! It BURNSSSSS"

1

Just enjoy the moment. Several years ago, a very good friend of mine asked me to play the part of Jesus for his church's reenactment of the last supper since I have long hair and a beard. Since it was for children, I agreed. I came away without my hair smoking, and the church still stands. Have fun!

1

When the holy water hits you during the blessing ceremony, start convulsing violently and throw some hidden smoke bombs in your pocket. That wedding video will go viral, guarantee! 🙂

1

Don't lock your knees. Seriously. You are going to be standing forever. And maybe keep some wheat thins and a flask in your pocket, that way if they do communion you can whip them out and say "I'm good without the shared vampirism and jesus discs! Thanks though!"

But ... but, what about satisfying the cannibalistic tendencies? Nothing like eating the flesh and drinking the blood of some dude. In normal reality, that would be asking for prison.

1

Just go and support your sister and her new husband. There is nothing you need or should do in attending any church or religious related function. Just show up, show your love and support and leave.

1

Ugh! Do they still do the whole mass with weddings? I'd suggest just zoning out (which I used to do) but I guess that wouldn't be wise when you're standing up there in front of everyone. ? that she wants you there - you guys must be very close.

Lauren Level 8 June 23, 2018
1

It's a ritual only, she is just showing the society that she wants to start a family, the priest is just the religion taking care of all, don't worry you won't burn if you enter in sacred soil (i tested it already). Just to go there, endure some minutes. Your sister smile is real, the god is not (or to be more agnostic, it shows no evidences of being real).

0

Is it an ethnic Catholic wedding? I'd willingly sneak into an Irish wedding. Italian weddings are a hoot too, not to mention Polish weddings. Don't worry about your feet catching on fire, that's what the holy water is for. Congratulations and good luck to your sister. B-)

zeuser Level 9 June 23, 2018
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