Jep, I wrote my "thing" about Alzheimer's, will take me all my life to write the music for it.

          the big "A"                             march 24, 2012

you will move thru the veils of time
with the grace of a wounded butterfly
in that maze left in place of my mind
hoping to find that sparkle in my eyes
begging for a smile
you will expose anything of you...
i may recognize

you will wait...
a gesture or a sign
something as simple as your name
or a tired familiar phrase
but to no avail
as if nothing ever got imprinted in my head
all of us... together
just erased

you are going to have to realize
all my memories had gone fishing
to a dried out pond
way too far

from where we are today
just turn your back...
and walk away
you see?
by then
it will no longer hurt

you might think i am insane now
because there is no telling how
or what...
future will bring to us...
unless we try...
finding out...
another day...
together or apart
an easier life...
with another mate
following that dream
we made ours
almost seems to be as fresh...
as yesterday
today...
by me...
put to rest

in a shallow grave
too deep to contemplate
resurrection of some kind
without the recourse of resurrection
you must abide

you will entertain...
a gamble of some sort
a deal, a truce
a promise... a ruse
anything i could hold
or bring me back
to yesterday

but the train has departed
and i had taken my seat
no other baggage than my living corpse
one way ticket on the express
i am a passenger in the big "A"
curtains in the windows of my eyes
remove me from the speed...
in which my life story
melts away
or pass me by

not even a souvenir for safe keep
nothing will survive the carnage
that much i am certain
that much i accept
with no regret

i am not sorry for not saving you a seat
for the sake of yesterday
it is not a mistake...
is just...
some journeys alone we take

all of me will be at peace
well whatever left...
indeed

if i had it my way
pick my own poison
write in my own fate

i want my memory to go first
as disturbing as it may seems
i will embrace...
the dreaded big "A"
i will let Alzheimer's
take you away...
from my existence
along with everything else
single file...
side abreast

no fight...
no resistance
my heart a minor partner
with no say

no last kiss
still trembling in my lips

your perfume
lingering in the air

of all this
i will deny it
because i am already...
unaware
or already there

won’t remind me
you were once here
my queen...
and keeper of my soul...
today about to be shreds
my spirit...
reached another plateau
hurts in a different zone
on different feeling...
caves
already in your night is dawn

for all and from all
no longer fears
no more this pain
of losing you...
to a better man
or to a lesser jerk

all the gold in the world
won't be enough ransom
for the lost memory
of the greatest of loves
that never was...
for this handsome

i will be at rest...
without knowledge
of the lost

my spirit swimming
in a river
forbidding from you
to approach

you will look into my eyes
and won't find me
not a tear will survive
and with a puzzled gaze
i will move past you
into the next door
down the hall

you will try to touch me...
bring me back here...
where we are now...
but i'll be gone

and you will have to admit
i had escaped
my last act of defiance...
my last rebellion...
to cupid's aim
deny you a proper goodbye
or one last hello
for old times’ sake

and a compassionate nurse will tell
you have to let go...
he is gone
you might be here...
but he is not
because he is done

and if you press me
all that will come from my lips...
is that i forgotten...
i forgot

my heart will try to double time...
will ask you to wait
for a sign...
or a phrase
bring your memory back to life
for old times’ sake

but...
my eyes won't recognize...
your face
my hands won't felt
my flesh cold and dry
won't understand
as you hold my hand

for maybe the last time
all you will have from me...
is a puzzle sight

and when i die...
i will do humming...
mcarthur park

thinking it was a tune
of my own device

if for nothing else
just in case
take this as...
goodbye

i will die one evening...
all alone
no one noticed...
the time...
and last sound they heard
was my broken rendition...
of mcarthur
as send-off

i will scream it...
to the top of my lungs
to a telephone...
just as last month
still unplug
breaking the monotony
down my hall
until silence
accentuates...
I am done
and so gone
so gone

that last fork...
in my trail
i will pick...
i will chase...
as a daring captain...
will navigate...

the last veil...
in my life...
i will remove

to finally...
all alone...
found me home

the train...
stopped
and quickly...
nobody is aboard

all known to us...
gone

no curtain call

nothing left...
but an empty and hollow...
corridor

silence sets
eyes closed
i rest
like all besides me rest
there's no rest like the one we do at home
i feel at home
home now
gone

no more test to pass
alone
in peace i rest
memory of you
diluting in my thoughts

you were the last
i knew i loved
but should had been...
the first

in peace i rest
i rest
silently
humming a song
i swear i wrote
maybe...
yesterday
for all today I know

    by Hector L Martinez

         Jacksonville FL

I helped take care of my late grandfather who had it. We would watch Jackass movies and he would laugh his ass off every time.

I enjoy your humorous posts!

What makes you think you will like to watch movies? Maybe you should have a talk with sufferers in different stages. And I recommend you 2 great movies to watch while you are able. "Away from her" and "Still Alice".

I enjoyed your joke! Offensive? Inappropriate? Yes, but good comedy requires that people push the envelope and go right up to that line of what is susceptible. Considering the benefits of the joy of laughter, this makes the risk involved more than worth it!

LOL!!! Humor is a defense mechanism to pain. It makes you look at life and it's pitfalls differently. we should all be able to laugh at our pain because being serious only makes it worse. My grandmother had Al Z and there are some very funny stories to share these days about it.

That is shocking, but so incredibly, brilliantly funny!

When my former MIL was in the early stages of Alzheimer she remarked that it was hard for her to choose a book because she wasn't sure if she had read it before. She worried she was rereading something. I told her to look at it like revisiting old friends.

And be made happy by them!

Lmao. That's one way to be positive about it.

My step father has it and he thinks I got him his car back and he has new tires on it also. Actually I got his car taken away. He's in a nursing home and cannot walk or drive coz of a broken hip. He claims to have taken my dead mother to the hospital recently but they kept her in St. Louis. I don't go see him. He would not remember it anyway and I don't want to remember him the way he is now.

People think I am terrible! They say what would I do if that was me and my children don't come see me? OK. I imagine that is exactly what would happen. We don't visit as much as we should even now. Why would it change when I get Oldtimer's?

If you can find them .....yeah

Not to mention making new friends every day, and being able to hide your own easter eggs!!

(No disrespect intended, I recently lost someone important to me, and he was "gone" long before he died.)

No. You don’t even know what a movie is. You forget your family and friends, lose the ability to communicate, and die in a horror of nothingness and abandoned thought.

Dude! I could replay Skyrim!

Alzheimers is tougher on the family than it is on the person who has it. At least in the latter stages of the disease.

"I Love Lucy" is new every day.

Depends on the extent that your tolerance remains. Nothing worse than watching 60% and then waking to the fact that you have seen it before!