Phrases I hope to avoid in my obituary: "skeletal remains," "dumpster," "almost beyond recognition," "dental records" and "shallow grave."
18
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
21 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Dental records were required to identify the body of a Denver, Colorado man following recovery from underneath the floor boards of a local biker bar. The County Coroner indicates that the victim was found with a spiked dildo in what remained of his rectum and what was identified as the tire from a 2012 Harley Davidson CVO Softtail Convertable shoved down his throat.
Victim was last seen alive entering said establishment on the evening November 12, 2017 at approximately 8:00 pm, wearing assless chaps and an N'Sync t-shirt.
Anybody with information pertaining to this crime should contact the authorities immediately.
webbew1
Level 7
June 27, 2018
9
I like the sound of "presumed eaten by tigers".
Jnei
Level 8
June 27, 2018
5
Jnei:
@SACatWalker I'm told that they very quickly become used to humans and don't tend to attack those they've come to know - they just play. So, if a tiger ever sinks its meathook claws into your ribcage and its dagger teeth into your throat, it's just having a bit of fun.
...or just date a girl who knows where to hide the bodies.
SukiSue
Level 8
June 27, 2018
3
@maturin1919 At the very least, after they ax murder you none of the terms Duke mentioned will ever show anywhere... So good for you! 
"I told you I was sick" is what I want in mine. And on the headstone.
GoldenDoll
Level 7
June 27, 2018
5
Yeah....that don't sound to fun. Mine is cancer, comma, nursing home, fire, and Alzheimer. Geeze!
BucketlistBob
Level 8
June 27, 2018
5
I hope not.
Washed up on the beach. DNA results pending.
bigpawbullets
Level 9
June 27, 2018
5
You could add "lengthy criminal record" to that list...LOL
drumreaper
Level 5
June 27, 2018
3
Only ashes and one charred sneaker recovered
Surfpirate
Level 9
June 27, 2018
3
@Bierbasstard I always thought that spontaneous combustion would be an exciting and dramatic way to exit stage left.
We would miss you before the remains became skeletal, I hope...unless lye?
AnneWimsey
Level 9
June 27, 2018
2
![[agnostic.com]](https://agnostic.com/images/answers/107328_93vps3lypbc3pmd_full.jpeg?v=2){kind=link}
You might want to include "most of the remains were found..."
HippieChick58
Level 9
June 27, 2018
1
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.