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A question for those hoping to find love again. Do you limit yourself on distance or are you open to find love anywhere in the world? It may not seem practical to some but who's to say love is right next door, or even in a nearby town?

BohoHeathen 8 June 30
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64 comments

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0

It may be a form of agoraphobia as well as having the inability to get over a 27-year marriage( she left me when I got sick she said she didn't want to take care of me or be responsible for my hospital bills) but I Love My Little House in the Big Woods I built it myself and there's no way in heck that some other person is going to take me away from my happy place into hell I don't mean to sound so terribly negative I would love to love someone again but after watching all the other horrible horrible relationships and going through one myself I'm certainly not willing to give up everything that I've worked so for on the off chance that I could be the smaller percentage of people who actually find someone who gives a s*** about them

She was married to you for 27 years but dumped you because she didn't want to help care for you after getting sick? Do you think that might mean she didn't actually love you in the "in sickness and in health" sense of the word that she agreed to when she married you?

10

I finally gave up the distance requirement - and as soon as I did, ka-pow! I am in a LDR now and could not be happier. I find that at this point in my life (I'm 62), I have done everything else (had the nice house and pool, long-term marriage, great career, travel), but I want a forever love this time around. Who's to say - if you connect on all cylinders and there is chemistry, go for it. Life is short. Everything else in my life is gone - I'm taking the plunge. <3

9

It's better for two people to find each other than not find each other. Distance is a problem, but the match is the most important thing.

7

If I connected with someone the distance wouldn't matter -- at first. I couldn't do it indefinitely. Ultimately, we'd have to find a way to live closer to each other. Either one person moves to the other person's city or they decide together to move somewhere else. That happened.with a friend who met.her current husband long-distance. He was in Texas and she was in Ohio. They eventually moved together to the northwest and have been blissfully happy ever since.

7

I met someone almost 200 miles away, met as friends. Had similar interests with her and her boyfriend, they were fun people to hang out with, would go visit once a month. Then one day the boyfriend is no longer in the picture. My once a month turned into twice, then every weekend, then about 2 years later I'm moving to a different state.

Sadly after 5 years of marriage it ended. I'd still not trade those first years for anything.

Angus Level 5 July 1, 2018
6

Honestly I'm open to women with some distance but I say that under the condition that it actually go somewhere...Its not a relationship if it's just going to be done over the computer or on the phone but parties need to be able and open to the idea of traveling to the other...an example

For a little while when I was stationed in VA I started talking to this girl in Oregon I had met on an atheist Facebook group..We started getting to know each other and one day she was like "Hey you should come visit" and I figured why not? If anything a trip to Portland would be fun..So she paid for half of my travel and I paid for the other half....We had fun and afterwards she came to VA once again both of us paying for half the fare...

It ended up not working out but her we gave it a shot and had some fun in the process and even though it didn't work out I'm glad I did it.

6

I was in a LDR for ten years. It's not something I can do again. I want to see my S/O in person.

Absolutely to that. I need a physical partner not someone at the end on a phone connection

5

You can maintain a relationship long distance much easier now with the internet, phone, vidchat, etc. I saw my parents maintain their relationship when my dad was stationed overseas for up to two years at a time and that was in the day of letters and the occasional phone call. I don't think now that a few visits during the year is going to be satisfying to either person. Eventually, someone is going to have to make the decision to move closer. Just be sure you are doing it for the right reasons...you might have a lot at stake that you can't undo once you make the decision to move so far away. Food for thought, for sure...and I hate that I am faced with this in my own life right now.

Deciding whether or not to move closer to someone -- how far would you have to go?

@Sgt_Spanky I think it is unrealistic to pick up and move your life unless you have nothing keeping you to a place. Money also plays a factor...but, I think at a certain age, if you are going to go for it, you better...how far? Three states away...

@thinktwice Just choose wisely, my dear. You seem like a very nice person and I'd hate to see you get hurt but if it all looks good then, as you said, go for it.

5

Romance at a distance is an opportunity to be scammed. You don't really know who or what is on the other end of the line. Best if you can hold the toad up close so you can see all the warts!

5

If I was a millionaire, any where in the world is good. But being a broke ass white boy, no more than 20 mile radius from the reservoir in Brandon, MS. There is also the fact that I may not want to find love again. If it happens, it happens. I would be content with a good friend.

I've always found the Aussies and Brits to have an extremely sexy accent. I would consider moving to any of those spots.

5

An LDR brings with it some issues. Not insurmountable, but can be difficult.But to think that a true love is only in your area is not realistic.If two people connect, and can build a loving, trusting relationship, then I would think some sort of solution could be found. Myself, I would be willing to move since I have no ties to where I am except for property ownership, which I would give up easily.

5

Distance matters

5

I'd love to believe that love would sustain me when I'm stuck in traffic for hours driving to my long distance lover...gave it a try for a year...single working life is busy trying to devote full weekends instead of dates is hard

5

While the romantic in me says distance shouldn't matter, the rest of me knows that it is difficult for me to form a meaningful relationship with someone who i can't just go visit anytime.

Tulio Level 3 July 1, 2018
4

Well, I live in a place that mostly sucks so I don't actually expect to meet somebody here. But I need to stay with my job for at least 9 more years to have enough to retire. They'll let me work as long as I want. After I have enough to retire, who knows. I know I'm leaving this place one way or another.

4

I will not do long distance and I won't move. My family/support is here. Plus I have young kids and I share custody of them. I'd rather be single than do a long distance relationship, it just isn't viable for me.

Kanda Level 5 July 1, 2018

I have relocated all my life traveling careers and move for love. ....my Service Cats Kiti&Laila love 44 thousand miles 17 states and Ontario
....my daughters are 43 and 24 Iowa professional beautiful powerful family people as I taught them but their mom's did not do loyalty while I did: driving 48 states. ...Gore Vidal political roots are Oklahoman and anyone who knows a blind Atheist Senator "vision" can know / love me

4

In any relationship there are obstacles to overcome. In some relationships - it's distance. Whether or not it's worth it depends on how much the person means to you and what you are willing to put into it. No one said it was easy, but I don't think most relationships worth having are just a walk in the park.

4

With the current technology, distance isn't that big of a deal anymore. The perfect person for me might be on the other side of the planet. And I know people for whom what started as an online relationship ended up working out, so there is hope.

GwenC Level 7 July 1, 2018

Yes to form a couple,to be there for each other when life lands it's crushing blows(and it will),health crisis,job loss,and the other tragedies of living.Establishing trust in your partner,not being concerned if they are a little late from work(car problems,overtime etc).

@Louise1920 the question was about finding love, not conducting a long distance relationship forever.

4

Some of my best relationships have been long distance. I feel the less time you see someone the more you want to see them. So when you have to travel to meet someone both parties go all out when they meet up.

4

After giving up my entire life to go live with a man who said he loved me, only to end up pregnant and homeless a few months later I have basically closed myself off to people who aren't local to me. I also think it would be unfair to expect anyone to move to be with me.

Wow, be was an ass. Are things better now?

Much bette

4

I'm pretty much stuck where I'm at for the forseeable future. So distance is an issue, though I wish it wasn't.

3

I have had a few long-distance, online relationships and the only result I can honestly say is that one of them -- the most serious and intense -- gave me the most heartbreak I have ever experienced in the whole of my life -- and I'm 74 -- so I've had a long time to consider what constitutes "whole of my life". I've not had any success whatsoever with the dating sites. Mostly because it seems to me people are there window shopping and figure they'll wait until they find the person with the perfect profile, perfect figure, perfect age, perfect background -- blah blah blah -- and then go for it (or him or her). In fact, the best relationships I have had in my life -- and I've had many! resulted from meeting people face to face in a casual setting --not in a bar or at a party or when we were both blotto from drinking -- and were not focused on our love lives at all but were working on some project or other and gradually grew close through the shared experience. I'm retired now and live a quiet life so I don't see that happening although I don't write off the idea either. But long distance? No. I don't want to go there at all. I have nothing by negative impressions from that whole idea.

3

It's a good question. To get to know anyone via the internet, you both have to be pretty chatty via messenger or whatever. it seems like most are so used to giving as short an answer as possible that really communicating by type seems pretty difficult. i sure wouldn't expect myself or anyone to move for someone they don't know pretty well.

3

I believe one can find love anywhere in the world. Unfortunately for me I am not willing to move anywhere that has more than two seasons IE-dry and rainy- I cannot take the cold. I like sunny Florida and I do not see myself moving north. Lol.

3

Within a couple hours driving distance is my limit.

3

Can't relocate at the moment due to family obligations. But planning to Relocate/Travel anyway in two years. It would be nice to find someone with the same adventurous ideas.

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