Traditions.
My lovely wife''s family has what I'll refer to for lack of a better term as "extended family traditions".
These were started by my wife's parents, based somewhat on their parents' values and reinforced by personal experience. These traditions have proved as one method of promoting success in life, as well as gluing the Clan together as a large support group. I'm sure some of them will cause gnashing of teeth among select readers. But my point in posting this is to show the value of the extended family raising the following generation.
"It takes a village" might better have been "It takes the Family". My opinion only.
This is a subset of those traditions:
Girls - you must be able to support yourself.
- You will have a BS before you're an Mrs.
- You will have an MBA before you're a Mom.
- every girl is taken on a 2 week trip with her aunts when she is considered to be of age. The girl's mom is not allowed to tag along.
- every girl gets a sewing machine and taught how to use it.
Boys - You must be able to support a family. - you will be established in a career before marriage.
- You will be a homeowner before being a dad.
- every boy gets a rifle & a shotgun and is taught how to hunt.
Extended Clan: A one week clan vacation during the summer is made available. Expenses paid for all members by "The Elders". Attendance strongly encouraged.
So, do any of the Agnostics have similar family traditions? If so, do you think that they help instill values and provide success paths for the next generation???
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4 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.LOL the sewing machine and the shotgun,, this is too insane.
Funeralgirl
Level 7
July 20, 2018
1
Glad it provided you a good chuckle.
Well that is some gender normative BS if I ever did read it. What happens those that deviate? Say the lady has a home and established career while her mate does not. What if the woman does not want a BS or MBA. In today's economic market even MBA's or BS's are no guarantees of success or even a job. What if they hate science or business? Sucks to be them? What if they'd rather go into a trade or job requiring no post secondary education? What if the boy wanted a sewing machine and how to use it and the girl wanted the rifle?
This sounds like gender role crap buybull or religious types would infuse in their kids. It disgusts me and is NO guarantee of success whatsoever.
demifeministgal
Level 8
July 14, 2018
2
I always find other''s opinions amusing. Whatever a family member chooses as a path is fine. They are all emotionally supported. So far, second and third generation members are all leading happy and productive lives. It seems to be instilling positive values and healthy mental states in eveyone. It's working. Just because it's "traditional" doesn't mean it's bad. But thanks for stopping by and commenting!
@bigpawbullets I would argue that it is your family's support network, aka cultural capital and social capital that has actually lead to their successes. Were they to follow the same gender normative schemes but lack financial support or networks, they would be SOL. Here is an article explaining cultural capital: [en.wikipedia.org]
And social capital: [en.wikipedia.org]
@demifeministgal
Yep social &cultural capital in abundance. Reinforcement rites providing positive reinforcements of acceptance and approval.
Why would they be "Shit out of Luck" without this?
And why do you seem to be so negative about our family culture?
@bigpawbullets If you looked into the research on poor people or people living in poverty that received higher education, but lack social and cultural capital, you'd see how their lives are drastically different. Hence if your family didn't follow these rituals, yet still had the support to buffer any life choices they made, they would be fine. It's a false belief system similar to theistic belief system imo.
@demifeministgal
You seem angry.
I pointed out that we support our extended family regardless of their paths. The young folk are always enthuastic about getting symbols of achieving adult status within our clan. If, a young woman would choose not to receive a gift then that's ok! The fact you object to it personally is simply an amusing benefit.
Or, maybe you're jealous? Doesn't your family support you psychologically?
I see nothing wrong with family traditions as long as they are based in reality. Learning to fend for ones self is an admirable teaching. One must also realize there are those among us that are those among among us who are not capable and a hand held out is our way of giving back to humanity.
Mikeb56
Level 7
July 8, 2018
3
My family was very enlightened my father and grandfather self identified as freethinkers, as do I. We didn’t have any of that rigid rule stuff, but my childhood was fun and free, we were taught right from wrong, and respect for others. We were encouraged to read and think for ourselves, education was valued. I consider myself extremely lucky to never have been indoctrinated with any supernatural ideas. So no, not in my experience. Your In-laws sound more like a cult than a family.
Marionville
Level 10
July 8, 2018
2
They are definitely well indoctrinated.
But it works for us.
It sounds like your family traditions (which to me sound wonderful) were passed on in a much more informal way. But I think the results might be about the same. You're happy, right?
@bigpawbullets Yes, I like to think that I am a well grounded and happy person. You sound happy too. ?
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