No person or thing can make one happy. Happiness, or the lack thereof, is our own choosing.

Did you meet my mother?? She loves to wallow in misery. If she doesn't have a current complaint she'll dredge up half a dozen from the past. And she can find something to complain about, about everything.

One of the best things ever in my life is not talking to my mother and listening to her bitch, piss, and moan about every damn thing.

If someone is struggling or in pain I'll listen to them, sometimes they're just looking for someone to be a witness or a sounding board to give them a safe place to talk something out or bounce things off of so they can eventually find the answers for themselves. The problem is when it's the same thing over and over again, or they just want someone else to listen to them and won't reciprocate. Then I feel it crosses a line where it's just about them and their problems. Some people feel it's the only way they can get attention. I can relate, I was there at one time. And being on the other side much more now, I can understand how difficult it can be for the other person.

My late wife had a close friend who would call on the phone,and complain about how her life was going, seems the same conversation each time was heard, I think she loved to complain,we'd offer advice, but this Woman seldom acted on them.

I gauge the person against the situation and, if I feel it's warranted, give 'em a "Suck it up, buttercup!" Also like a line a couple former soldiers taught me, "Embrace the suck!"

"Some people find a way" are the key words here. I feel like a serial victim I'm many aspects of my life but I choose not to live the rest of my life that way. I'm lucky to have that choice, there's many who don't for plenty of reasons.

Great question. Maybe they don’t know any better. Maybe they are trapped in an endless loop of untrue, negative thoughts and don’t know how to escape. Maybe they are afraid to be happy because previously when they felt happiness that feeling always came tumbling down. Maybe it is a protective mechanism—they are preparing their psyches for the possibility of some horrible events that might happen in the future.

Whatever the reason, there’s no need for unhappiness, even if they are on hard times. By thinking only true thoughts their perpetual sadness will instantly turn to joy.

Tell them to read Dr. Maxie Maultsby Jr., my idol.

Life is hard for everyone, much harder if you're consistently stupid.

"Bad" things happen to everyone. The same type of "bad" things will continue to happen until the lesson is learned. That is how I look at it and it has served me well for quite some time.

It's perfectly fine and natural, and sometimes beneficial, to "wallow" for as long as you need to. But don't shut off your brain while doing it.

lots of variables in that equation

Amen Sistah! Preach!

Couldn't agree more.
Some people are fine with wallowing in their own misery.
Many, MANY, years ago, my best friend and I came up with our own "rule"
about that kind of thing.
When something bad happens, you get 24-48 hours to 'wallow', then it's time
to put on your big-girl panties and get the fuck over it.
If it's a BIG "bad", you can double the time, but you STILL have to get up and
get on with the business of life.
Life doesn't stop and neither do your obligations, just because something bad
has happened.
Don't make a career out of being a "victim".
Take a shower, put on clean clothes, and get on with it.