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A little over 2 years ago, I ended a friendship with someone I had considered by "best" friend of 15 years. Her constant mismanagement of money, time, her life overall became a pattern that was made worse by her denial that she was often the cause of it and she refused to get any kind of counseling (she had a history of abuse in her childhood). I stuck around for the special needs child she had adopted, but after things progressively got worse, I found it was not enough to keep me around to watch the mess. I just heard that again, due to her mismanagement of her life, she has lost her job, but she still doesn't seem to connect her own chaotic patterns to why she lost it (she had to complete a class to keep her license and she didn't complete it). I have mixed feeling about it. I feel bad for her, I feel worse for her teenage son who will have his life upended yet again (they move frequently), but I am also just angry at her refusal to own her mistakes and actually do something about it. I had to work my butt off to change my life when I was struggling with mental health, but it was worth it. I got my life back. I just wish she had the sense to do the same.

Sorcha 7 July 16
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5 comments

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2

Do not entertain guilt for removing toxic people from your sphere. You are not a caretaker for self destructive people. I cut my toxics loose also.

1

GOOD FOR YOU! Do not regress! If you can be a friend to the son...all the better for him but it might not be possible. Maintain your own health and let her do the same! I'm proud of you!

0

ok seems reasonable

weeman Level 7 July 16, 2018
2

IMO you did the right thing. You can not fix her life, she seems unwilling to look at how you changed your life and grew. She is still looking for others to accommodate or fix her life.
Toxic energy and you can only fix you.

0

I understand your reaction; toxicity is something I don't care to deal with at all. Now, you must realize she is the only one who can take the first step.
About her teenager son...I worry and I feel DSS should be informed of her ways.

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