I can't imagine dealing with the nature of that loss. I lost 3 people that i was very close to over the past few years and it was traumatizing. I never try to suppress my feelings. Its cathartic and healing to feel it and let it out.

Thank you for this, so much.

yes in situations that provoke a strong negative emotion being able to let it go i feel is the initial "stage" in being able to start healing

I find grief comes in waves especially when a special occasion is around the corner. Even as a strong person I am unable to control it so I let it come and go and do what it asked of me. Cry..be sad .stay home and it then leaves. I say just go with flow but make sure you don't stay in it.

Grief is a monstrous thing. It can eat you alive. All one can do is put up a fight. What is, is. We must battle on. There might never be an answer to the questions we seek solutions to. Do what you can to survive. Let each day pass and to some small extent be the precursor for the next?

Sorry about your loss but your " . . to become 'whole' again". . . I'm not convinced this is a possible outcome.

I was told in traditional Lakota (Native American) concept of life,

Life is a circle. When you are born your life begins and you begin your journey along the circle - as time passes you advance and approach the starting point of the circle (your life ends) However, when something terrible happens, there is a gap introduced into the circle. You must continue your path, but your circle will have a hole. We just learn to move forward the best possible way. "to become" Fully functional I would say yes, but loss, and how we deal with it defines who we are.

It is important to understand that these stages are not ironclad linear stages that everyone experiences the same. Thanatologists in fact describe grief more like a spiral than a linear process. You think you've gotten to acceptance and then something triggers you and you regress 2 or 3 "stages". It's because your subconscious is spoon-feeding your "new reality" to you in increments that you can handle.

For this reason it's very important to be patient with yourself (and for other people to be patient with you).

This is some incredibly powerful and important insight into the process of grief and how many situations require it as part of the process of moving beyond the experience of loss, regardless of what form of loss

I'm still grieving for my lost marriage.

I’m so sorry. Grief is a part of life, but situations like you describe are truly awful. Much peace.

But also accepting the fact that we are forever changed by these events. We "come through the tunnel" but are reshaped by it. It's up to us to use that for continual understanding and growth, and help others. Thank you for your post and very sorry for your loss. We have all been through much loss and there is a gaping hole some of it leaves behind.