Continue building a new network of friends in the area. Edgewater is kind of in the middle of nothing... why there?

And I'm just gonna leave this here as well.

People who accept abuse from others allow it only because they don't love themselves enough to demand love and respect from ALL others. The tasks before you aren't external. You'll only repeat experiences whether 'going back' or beginning anew with another person who thinks as little of you as you..

You have to first learn to love the person within; the child within. That is the first order of business and for some, it is a long war with many pitfalls. Being alone is gratifying for people who love themselves. When you love yourself you 'bring something to the table' instead of going to the table hoping to be considered deserving by others for their deference.

If you hold yourself in high esteem, as you would your own child for example, you won't allow anyone to even speak to you disrespectfully. You won't deign to suffer anyone's crumbs in place of sharing in mutual respect, trust, admiration and love. It can't happen in such conditions.

Only one person can bring you happiness and you don't have to leave home to find them. After that, the right 'other' can bring their happiness 'to the table' to share and Nature will provide a dessert beyond your wildest dreams.

Sounds like ' depression ' to me .
Make it temporary .
Make it yesterday's forgotten history .
My theory about depression is that it's usually caused by an overwhelming perception of need deprivation and is best overcome by approaching it with a determined effort to fulfill every need that ya feel deprived of somehow to the best of your ability .
Even if ya can't solve the big problems immediately , every feeling of deprivation that you do overcome or lessen makes the overall pain decrease which makes you more energetic to solve the next deprivation on the 2 do list .
I think there are 3 go to activities that naturally boost one's bio- chemical reality and those should be prioritized on the 2 do list .
Food , healthy and organic is best .
Exercise , running will make one , happy , strong , mellow .
Affection !
Focus on happiness .
Find it .
Hold on to it .
Entitled to overcome !

It just takes time you need to focus on having a positive direction to go and focus on plans for your future and how you can move forward as a person to achieve your life goals when you can do that then the healing can start and as I suggest to everyone who has been through traumatic life situations especially abusive ones I believe that counseling can be a positive option

Friends. Find some. Then everything else should fall into place.

Oh sweetie. Do you have any family? How about old friends? You need to reach out to people you know. You should consider seeing a counselor. Don't try to do it alone. Oh. hug

The answer is not simple. Your brain has become accustomed to a certain set of factors in your environment, and a comfortably familiar hell is sometimes preferable to a new and indefinite hell. The duration of the relationship, severity/type/variety of abuse, these things largely determine the timeframe. You may never completely be rid of some of these feelings, and engaging in emotionally intimate relationships will be weird and occasionally fraught with episodes of depression, anxiety, flashbacks...

The appropriate answer is 'you probably need a mental health professional as part of your support system because medications or therapy are likely to be necessary.'

My real answer is: you've survived it. Parts of you may feel dead, you will feel isolated and alone and worthless and like no one will ever love you.

Evil voices lie when they say you're alone. These thoughts are the lingering toxic residue of life in an abusive situation and the control methods abusers employ to maintain control.

You lived. As long as you don't go back, the hardest part is over. You went to hell and now you're back, and bruises and burns take time to heal. And maybe they leave scars that never go away.

But scars don't make you less valid, less worthwhile, or less deserving of love. They only show that something couldn't kill you.

You will survive, and it will get better slowly but surely. Your top priorities right now are not going back, not rushing into something similar, and prioritizing your recovery.

You have accomplished a great thing by leaving. Do not throw that away, not for anything. The misery you feel now is twofold: the loss of a relationship and the discomfort of your current circumstance. The former will fade with time and the latter will change when your ready to make your next move. But do not go backward simply because forward seems scary.

I don’t know where you are, but you could do some volunteering and meet people that way. You could also look online for meet ups. Maybe you could find some group of people with similar interests. What made you decide to go wherever it is you went? Do you not have a car?

You have 72 cats? Hmm...

What part of the country did you move from and what part too?

Why don't you drive?
Why Edgewater?

My ex my kids and grandkids live all around there. Mayo Beverly Beach Churchton Deale Annapolis. I could ask them to help you out. Take you to the store etc but I'll need to know about those first two questions before I do.

Lots of amazing comments already... I was just wondering if you should post your picture or not. Is he the type to try and find you? Do what you need to do to be safe. Peace.

Who does your food shopping? Friends? Pay your utility bills? Being you either do not have a car, or know how to drive,does limit you getting around abilities. How did you move? Family help? This website has many knowledgeable people,many who have gone through what you have done,reach out and establish a connection,we won't bite....