Sure sometimes it feels that way. But for me Christianity was always lacking in meaning and did not make sense to me. For me literature, art, music (more classical), philosophy grant me more meaning and as for religion I find more fascinating comparative religion studies, especially eastern ones or non abrahamic ones, that are monist in outlook but is more of pantheism than theism. So when I think of God I am tempted in pantheism the kind of Spinoza God or more like eastern abstract concept of God than an Abrahamic one. In some kinds meditation specially Tibetan ones there is a tendency to visualize gods that guide through meditation to deal with the fear and doubts, more advanced meditator the more understanding he had that the Gods were in his mind, psychological forces. In the end just as gods are delusion the self is also a delusion. Conform lies in compassion and mindfulness which is a state of mind on the moment or flow different than a blind belief and obedience in an external being.

Thank you everyone for your responses. I'm loving this community of free thinkers. ?

Yes, I understand what you mean. Also it would make things easier for me socially, living here in rural Ultra-Christianity Land. I kind of envy people who have their minds made up for them, never have to bother questioning anything, and think the same ridiculous thoughts as 99% of the people around them. But I also don't envy them. I couldn't buy into the myth even if I sincerely wanted to. It's impossible to believe what you just don't believe.

No, I can’t say I ever have. I think for the less intelligent it is a convenient code to live by as it is all set out with rules and certainty. For anyone with half a brain it would be a constant irritation as all the glaring inconsistencies in the bible would be a contradiction to the scientific realities.

I’ve toyed with that concept.. But the energy it takes to keep up the elution, for me, was unsustainable … and of course unrealistic.. That’s likely why they need numbers, group think or constant reinforcement of their false concepts. But if we already know better, what’s the point?

I’ve also wondered ..just how dumb, or brain damaged I’d need to be to actually believe in such nonsense No thanks; let’s just keep trudging into the storms - they eventually let up - then it’s all ours!

I wish I could put my faith in people but can't rationalize doing that either !

Kind of, sometimes. Life would be easier with a lobotomy... If I didn't get bored doing monotonous tasks for businesses I don't give a shit about I'd make a great corporate employee... I'd also fit in a lot better with family and people I grew up with if I didn't think critically about Christianity but I don't think there is any going back now... My mom still prays for me to come back around and won't really accept my disbelief even though I told her I'm just as likely to become Christian again as becoming a Muslim or Scientologist...