Agnostic.com

5 0

I got asked to "dinner" by one of my Sunday atheist lady's brunch friends. She is bi-sexual. And before anyone starts being a judgey stupid ass: I have zero problems with whatever sexuality a person identifies with. That being said, I have a right to identify as heterosexual. Which I am. Just as I do not find overly tall or overly muscular men sexually/romantically attractive, nor do I find women sexually/romantically attractive either. This woman knows I am hetero and Ive never suggested otherwise in our brunch conversations. She found an opportunity to get me alone and said "Lilatheist would you like to get together sometime? " I said sure! We can go out and enjoy a little ladies night, night life! Then she said I mean more like you and I going to dinner. So, Im hoping she means as friends. But I have a gut feeling she means a date. She is a very nice lady. I don't want to hurt her feelings. Honestly, I sort of resent being put in a situation where i might hurt a very nice lady's feelings. I resent it.

LilAtheistLady 7 Sep 1
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

5 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Sometimes dinner can be a lovely place to talk openly about how you want things to proceed, or not.....

1

My relationships with my straight women friends didn’t change when I came out as bi. I respect the fact they are straight, and boundaries haven’t been crossed. All you need do is be clear that you look forward to going out as the friends you’ve always been. If she doesn’t respect that, it’s probably time for a break.

UUNJ Level 8 Sep 1, 2018
3

I happen to also be bi. I don't see any reason for you to overthink this. Go out , have fun, talk. She could end up being a good friend !
Nothing to resent - nothing's happened. Though she may know you're hetero, she may simply want to know you better, or yes, she might be attracted to you. If that ends up being the case, treat her as you would any other person you wished to set limits on.

Any reasonable person is not likely to be hurt by a simple "no thanks", or "that's not my thing" . Smile.

Bottom line - if it's getting you all bent out of shape, change your mind about going and back out politely.

Just a clarification. The only reason I'm bent out of shape is because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I go through this with men I'm not attracted to also. It's not an easy thing to be rejected. But for me, it's worse when I have to do the rejecting. No matter how gentle one tries to be, there are still hurt feelings.

@LilAtheistLady It’s not a rejection; it’s a clarification.

2

I thought I was totally heterosexual until I had sex with a female friend. It was amazing and blew my mind. I now know I don’t rule women out, but still prefer men far more, but now know men are seriously shit in bed.

Livia Level 6 Sep 1, 2018

I knew I was bi but didn’t act on it until later in life. I’m attracted to men more readily but much depends on the woman.

1

Zero difference from a guy you are not romantically interested in asking you out. If you treat it that way you should be fine.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:169187
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.