I am sorry to hear this. I believe that it is complete BS to say that men and women cannot just be friends. Of course if you are friends their is an emotional connection, it is called being a friend. You love that person, often as much or more than family, because they are family by choice. Can this lead to something more, absolutely. My wife is my absolute best friend. But we all need more than just one friend.

This is not to say that sometimes lines get blurred, especially in troubling times or times of stress. But with that said it is all part of being human. There is nothing wrong of taking care of you, and sometimes that means having that someone you can share anything with.

I've been in that place. It's very uncomfortable and difficult when boundaries get crossed. Maybe you need to focus more on the relationship with your husband and see if there are problems that would make you want to be so involved with your friend? Nothing wrong with having close friends of the opposite sex, but it gets very tricky when lines are crossed. I'm thinking you also may have some unresolved issues with the way things ended with him years ago.

I think I've been on every possible side of this. SO no judgement here...just a hug. I get it.

I don't want to pretend to be a psychologist, but maybe it's more than just you missing your friend. Maybe there is an emotional connection missing from your relationship with your spouse?

I have an ex mother in law who tells everybody that computers are responsible for the breakup of many marriages. I think she misplaced responsibility here. Nothing guarantees that you and this man would be a match really even if you seem to be so much in agreement. Words on paper or a screen mean little when you have not even met.

Here's my similar story. I have a Facebook friend on the east coast whom I have talked to up to 4 hours at a time on the phone. We have been friends over a year and have never met. She is like a princess and would really like to be one. We think alike in many ways and are in agreement and supportive. I tell her that if I win the lottery I will marry her. I think she would do this even if I am 72. Where would it be in 10 years? I respect her and value her opinion but the more I look at this I see exactly what happened between myself and my ex. I am attracted to younger women and often there is a great age difference. I am willing to take a chance on this situation and I see no other families or marriages that I would break up in doing so. The destroyed lives are what you have to deal with here, so maybe you really are spared some grief in your case. In my situation I see a pattern that continually wants to repeat itself and my relationships last about 12 years and then go all to hell. Look at yours carefully.

Ask yourself if it would have really of been worth it. Ask yourself how children and others would deal with it and how long you think the utopia would go on. Been there, done that. What I left out of my story is the time that I gave in to a situation similar to yours. What I offered you is a bit of what I have learned from it.

Play with fire, get burned.

That is what is called an emotional affair and is a form of cheating.
There is no good reason to ever do that to your spouse.
If you are that unhappy, either get counseling immediately or get a divorce.
Or do both.

More proof that men and women can't be "friends," despite all the denial.