@Rideauxb the mechanisms that society and religion use to control women are to identify what makes you a “good” woman and pressure us to judge and separate ourselves from “bad” women.
This article gives a good example:
[huffingtonpost.com]

@Rideauxb middle school mean girls that turn into evangelical Christian wives, that’s who!

@Rideauxb It begins in childhood with our parents saying things like "girls don't or can't do that" in order to discourage competition with boys.
About how pretty we or another is or isn't whereas boys are described as smart, funny, brave, or strong.
Whenever something bad happens, we are consoled with comments such as "she's just jealous because you're prettier"

Girls also feel the urge to compete but we are only permitted to compete with other girls but not in sports, academics, games etc... No, we must be either pretty or well behaved. Once that message is received, we are then presented with the expected prize of these competitions: our future husband.

This is reinforced with comments along the lines of: "you will never find a husband if..."

So here we are with a desire to "win" in the only contest permitted to us and the prize is the boy the other girls want.