Hi everyone, I could really use some advice, for sometime now I have been chatting to an amazing woman I met here on agnostic and were becoming very close, and when I became ill she was and was so caring and kind she even sang a cover of Imagine for me because she felt so bad that I was sick, then the sexual allegations started and she went quite for a few days then she contacted me again and told me why she went quite how a long time ago she was beaten and raped and her family threatened so after we had a bit of a chat she came on to agnostic had a rant and blew of some steam and said she felt better we even exchanged phone numbers and she seemed happy that we would be talking on the phone & video chats she even did another song for me called FADE INTO YOU after I listened to it I messaged her and told her she sang it beautifully and then she went quite again apart from giving me likes on f/b nothing and then today she sends me a message saying that she's deleting her f/b for a while and going to take a break from social media...and people and hoped i was well, and now she's gone, and now I,m feeling lost and a lot of heartache because I don't know if i will ever here from her again. any advice is welcome and thanks for letting me vent I feel a little better now.
2
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- If she's dumped you, best to move on and forget about it.
2.If she's shut down because of past abuse, you aren't going to magically heal her with a new romance, as she'll bring her fear and trauma with her, so move on.
- Later on, if she feels like dating you, she has your number.
- If she gets some sort of therapy and gets better later on, again, she has your number already.
In the meantime, ask someone else out, and move on.
birdingnut
Level 8
Oct 7, 2018
0
As someone else who has experienced abuse, the current events of the past two years+ have caused some very difficult moments for me, but the past month with the Kavanaugh fiasco have felt like an actual nightmare. It is possible that it's really doing a number on your friend and she is doing what she needs to do to survive it. It's also possible that she just chose a very unclassy way to dump you. It's hard to be objective when your emotions are involved, but I wish you well.
Deb57
Level 8
Oct 7, 2018
1
is it a friendship to her or is she aware you have developed feelings if so were they reciprocal ? is she from oz or further afield if long distance she may just have realised the enormity of a long distance type relationship and mixed with the recurrence of obviously very powerful emotions it would be understandable for her to want everything to just go away until she feels strong enough to face everything again. If you have her number i would keep contact to a very limited text type of interaction unless she intimates otherwise i know you probably feel a bit lost and confused but not listening to what she is saying will not help her at all. Sadly all you can do is wait and see doesnt sound fair i know but life isnt
weeman
Level 7
Oct 7, 2018
0
Maybe, just maybe, you have had a lucky escape. I sing at karaoke at Least twice a week and would Not feel comfy singing "personally" like that.......like a movie, not real at all.
Get back on that horse!
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Oct 7, 2018
0
She hasnt responded to any of your texts or phone calls?
hippydog
Level 8
Oct 7, 2018
0
Sounds like she has completely shut down .. most you can do is offer to be there for her if she ever needs anyone.. you can't intervene any more then that as you don't know her well enough..
It's time for you to move on.
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