I'm sort of at a loss with Match.com. Been on there a year and have only met 4 women in person, mainly because most women there have kids and are family-oriented. But even the ones without kids won't reply to my messages expressing interest in them. My guess what's behind that is that the other men who are in my category are better-looking and seem wealthier, so the childless women who are highly-prized and rare online can be very choosy, thus rejecting me for someone who is more mainstream, religious, better-looking, wealthier and more mainstream in other ways. The frustrating thing is that I've seen several profiles on here that seem very compatible-no kids or not family-oriented, very hipster type personalities, nice-looking, intellectual, etc.-but they all live far away.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I had terrible luck on Match too. Was on for a year. NEVER met a person face-to-face. The few guys who expressed any interest in me were completely inappropriate, and the ones I messaged didn’t respond. And then I got charged for a renewal when I shouldn’t have been. Won’t waste any more time with that.
A2Jennifer
Level 8
Oct 14, 2018
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Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by how you got so little response on Match. It's obvious to me that looks are a big part of what interests men in women on dating sites and your photo looks nice. Must have been info in your bio that maybe made you seem too hip or offbeat for them, but still, hard to believe you never met anyone in person because your profile seemed too incompatible to the men.
@TomMcGiverin well thank you! I am a little “offbeat” and am past the point in life that I am willing to hide that to impress anyone. But I don’t think my profile was that weird. I get a lot more interest on OKCupid and it’s free so I definitely won’t go back to Match.
@A2Jennifer Thank you for the suggestion about Ok Cupid, but when I took a look at it, it seems to be run by and probably meant for people who are more your age than mine. Do you have any idea if it has a lot of people on it that are in their 50s and 60s? Otherwise it would be useless for me as my dating age range is 50-68.
@TomMcGiverin I don’t know that, because you set your filters at the beginning and it only shows you people who are close to fitting them. It probably varies by area, too.
@A2Jennifer Thanks anyway, but I'm going to pass on OKCupid because I did some online research about them and they are owned by the same company as Match, plus they would have a much smaller member base than Match. I need a really big member base to find someone in my area. Plus the web articles said Cupid had no customer support at all.
@TomMcGiverin well definitely don’t PAY for it, but maybe consider making a profile. If you and another person like eachother’s profiles, it lets you know for free.
Hi, Tom, and welcome to the website!
This website has a bit of a learning curve, so here's some info, in case you need it.
For members who are open to dating, certain thumbnails and profiles have a heart symbol on them with a percentage. This identifies which members are open to dating, and the percent shows approximately how compatible others are with them.
You gain website points by answering all the profile questions and writing a bio, which also earns website points, and helps other members get to know you.
Commenting on posts and writing your own posts earns more points. At level two you can private message people, and at level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.
If you want to date, the website uses profile algorithms to find member matches, so the more details one includes, the better the match.
Many people prefer to see a written profile talking about interests, hobbies, and backgrounds that can be quickly perused to find others with similar interests..
In case you didn't know yet, to find members near you, click on the "Browse" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and enter your preferred search parameters.
Click on the "Discuss" button, then "Nearby" to find members near you also.
Or click on the "About" button at the top left of the page to find links to FAQ or the website tutorial.
You can check for local events on the "Events" tab in the drop-down menu under the "Discuss" button, above.
Points are now being given to level 3+ members who chat. You can see chat rooms on the group main page.
birdingnut
Level 8
Oct 14, 2018
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Was more interested in getting feedback on my post. Thanks anyway for the briefing on the site. Hope I can eventually meet someone compatible on here.
Well, i am 70, but been on Match off & on, and a few other sites, (I like POF, free, and seems to have less married creeps) for about 8 years...now off because a friendship right under my nose is turning into something else.
The only things I would say would be to not lead with the widowed thing, it might indicate you are not really recovered, just lonely (well of course you are, but downplay it.!) And add a few interests so you give them something to comment on, a conversation starter.
And if you automatically reject women with kids, you are just hurting yourself. Meet the woman, and assess what the kid situation actually involves!
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Oct 14, 2018
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You're probably right about leading with the info that I am widowed, but then again, it's just another example of all the ignorant assumptions that people make about others on dating sites. My profile is actually pretty long compared to most and I have plenty of info about my interests and what type of woman (personality-wise) that I am seeking. As far as women with kids, I do not automatically reject them, I just state up front that I am not family-oriented and that while I'm willing to spend time with her and her family after a few or several dates, I do not want to end up spending most of my time with her around family once we've been dating for several months. I can't help it if most women read those words and respond knee-jerk as if I am opposed to spending any time around kids or her family. In reality I lost my wife, the person I married, loved, and knew well for over many years to dementia that began in 2011. So, in all reality, I've been without a healthy, functioning partner for several years now. That's why if I meet a compatible woman I'd like to start making up for lost time, such as travelling with her. Something I've been missing for the last ten years.
PS- As far as meeting the woman first and assessing the kid situation, no, I would rather state my position up front and not waste my time or theirs if that issue is a dealbreaker. I am very honest and proud of it, even if most people don't reward me for it.
@TomMcGiverin you Asked for an assessment...i did not, nor do I want, a self-justification/explanation! Sheesh!
Oh, and "Proud"? Of telling them their entire past is crap to you? You ever hear of Karma?
@AnneWimsey See comment below.......
PS- I would love for the women of this site, especially the ones in their 50s and 60s, to visit my profile and give me feedback on what they think of it. Thanks, Tom
TomMcGiverin
Level 8
Oct 13, 2018
0
I appreciate the assessment, Anne. But I also have free speech and the right to explain-defend-whatever... You are not in charge of others!
@TomMcGiverin never said I was...you asked, I attempted to be helpful....you are an ungrateful mousetrapper.
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