WHAT'S YOUR BULLSHIT? --
Human beings as a species are wildly varied in their personalities and ALL of us have some degree of bullshit in our behavior that other people will find challenging or provocative.
So what's YOUR bullshit?
What aspect of your personality do others find to be the most difficult to deal with? For myself, it's probably my cynicism. I more readily see what's wrong with everything rather than what's right. I'm the glass is half-empty guy you've heard of. I don't try to be but it just seems to me that there's more things obviously wrong with humanity and the world at large than right and I see it and I comment on it.
Self-analysis isn't everyone's strong suit but give it a shot and share your bullshit with the whole class.
I've been told there's often a disconnect, in person, between my affect and my internal experience of a situation. In other words I can act in ways that can be interpreted as brusque or indifferent when I'm in fact feeling perfectly friendly. I can induce anxiety in wait-staff at a restaurant for lack of "sufficient enthusiasm" for instance. To me it's just a business transaction, they provide food, I pay for it. I'm not rude or anything, I even smile, but I figure my job when I spend $$ to eat out is to be comfortable and have a good time, not to cater to the wait-staff. And I seldom tip less than 20%. You have to really fuck up to get me down to 15 much less 10. Money talks and bullshit walks.
I just never learned to put on airs and sing-song voices and fake smiles. Often we're expected to play-act our way with false conviviality. I think this is probably a form of male BS that many females perceive. We're less relationally oriented and don't socially signal reassuringly enough. In my case I also lean it bit in a geeky / aspie direction and I get a big free pass on such matters in my professional life.
I cope by not giving a flying fig about what others think! Works Very well!
I've been told I am "too harsh" & that I "don't give people a chance". I don't put up with people being disrespectful or rude to me or others. Lying is an absolute deal breaker. If its a new relationship & there is already a pattern forming (example: being very late & not calling to say so or saying things like they don't drink & down 3 double whiskeys before the entree) , I don't see a point in sticking around. I'm not going to put up with a lot of drama or bs just cause.
Lying is a dealbreaker.
Each year, I set personal goals.
For the second year in a row, I have been working on being a better listener, not interrupting and being kinder to people.
"My friends all remarked about how kind and poised you were at my wedding," Claire told me yesterday.
So you're typically a poor listener, who interrupts people and is unkind? That's some serous bullshit right there.
But I still like you.
You misunderstand me. I have been a loving, kind person my entire life. I am working to IMPROVE my listening skills. With my enthusiastic and outgoing personality, I tend to chime in when people make a good point.
However, I have an amusing inner snark that I keep under wraps. My friend, Kameon, loves it.
As a human resource director, I interviewed hundreds of people. This required careful listening.
This evening, I visited my friend Billie. With a master degree in botany, she has a beautiful yard.
While she was gone, tree trimmers ruined the shape of her big, beautiful dogwood tree and maples. It was heartbreaking. They removed over half of the dogwood tree.
I was biting my tongue, not wanting to make her feel worse.
"They butchered my dogwood tree," Billie said sadly. "That's what I was thinking," I replied.
@LiterateHiker So you're a good listener who wants to be a better listener who chimes in because you're engaged,enthusiastic and outgoing.
In that case, you need to work on developing MORE bullshit. By this time next year you need to ne throwing food at people or something.
I'm good at insulting Trump. With a great vocabulary, I am developing quite a list:
Trump is a loud con artist, compulsive liar, white nationalist, sociopath, sexist, racist, narcissistic and bloviating bully. No president has seen the number of scandals as Trump.
[cnn.com]
@LiterateHiker No argument from me. Insulting Trump has become a necessary skill in today's America.
@LiterateHiker Sad story about the tree. Odd coincidence; last night I friend called to tell me how devastated she was because they (the tree trimmers she hired to remove a branch that was on her roof) butchered the tree and had removed branches that took decades to grow. I remember telling her not to hire anybody to trim the tree so I had to bite my lip and not remind her.