I have agreed to sacrifice my day off to take a co-worker for a colonoscopy and have negative feelings about it.
First a little background: well, perhaps a lot lol
She had my position before I did 6 years ago but stepped down because she couldn't handle how the boss treated her. I transferred in. That boss left and she immediately started sabotaging me although her efforts were ineffective.
So she managed to transfer back to my department in another position but cannot handle that one either. After about a year she has again stepped down.
About 3 years ago, she bought a mobile home and got cheated (she says) and had no working air conditioner so I bought her a window unit for her bedroom on my credit card.
She started dropping hints about just needing a couple hundred for this or that etc. She even told a customer about how she sleeps on a mattress laid upon milk crates. Customers are often gifting her with things. In one case, the manager was severely told off by a customer on her behalf.
Her children have nothing to do with her which she tells everyone about. What she doesn't tell people about is how her check was garnished for not paying child support.
At any rate, absolutely no one will take her for visits to the VA so she takes a bus but this procedure is different so I agreed when she asked.
She has recently gone back to sabotaging me again because she suspects she will again be forcibly transferred back to the front and will take a pay cut.
She pretends to like me and is a big fan of passive aggressive tactics which annoys me because it makes confrontation impossible.
Not asking for advice; just needed to vent where there was no possibility of backlash with employer or her for that matter because her new position will include being my part time assistant.
I am aware that I am kinda an asshole for resenting giving up my day off but spending 3 hours on the road with her is not a pleasant prospect in addition to however long I will be sitting in waiting room for someone that intentionally fucks my shit up in random ways.
Thanks for listening lol
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Sounds like an untenable situation. I hope things improve soon. Three hours in a car with a person like that sounds wretched.
pasha-one-nine
Level 7
Nov 7, 2018
1
You're an adult and free to make whatever decisions you find acceptable to you, just be prepared to accept the consequences of those decision like an adult as well. Personally, I don't allow negative attachments in my life, there are costs to that decision but the benefits greatly outweigh the costs.
Surfpirate
Level 9
Nov 7, 2018
2
We teach people how to treat us.
You need to set appropriate boundaries.
Not your circus, not you monkey ?
SkotlandSkye
Level 8
Nov 7, 2018
4
You saw the part where I said she is my assistant? Covers for me when I go on vacation etc.
I am able to set boundaries and am in fact known as such an asshole that the 2 people who know Im taking her expressed disbelief.
A lot of damage can be done in the 4 to 5 weeks vacation per year that I take. Additionally she is literally the only other person in the whole damn building that even knows how to do my job
@Lucy_Fehr I've had 8-12 excellent Sous Chefs in my career....upon whom I depended to keep things humming along when I was not there and upon whom I often staked my reputation. I never loaned any of them money or took them to appointments. Work is work. If you are doing this so that she behaves better at work, then you are being emotionally blackmailed.
@SkotlandSkye Your profession is not the same as mine. I work in retail where a large part of management are failures in life and think their location is their personal fiefdom. The number of HR issues that are swept under the carpet in just the last 6 years boggles my mind.
I already know nothing will be done about her sabotage should she actually do so whereas you referred to your help as excellent but I have no doubt that should that help not be excellent, that you would have recourse to correct that. I do not have that luxury. I did not hire her nor can I replace her.
Apples to oranges because you clearly do have the power to replace bad help.
I did not loan her money; I bought her a window unit AC of my own volition because she was a middle aged woman living in Florida with no AC. I reiterate that I bought it before I knew her very well. She did pay the money back a couple of years later but I bought it as a pay it forward thing without expectation of repayment.
The ride to the VA is a different matter because yes I am aware of how she is now. I also felt a bit sorry for her back when I agreed several months ago; nor was she my assistant at that time
Perhaps I see it as a form of insurance to make things easier at work and I was venting this morning because I had to pass on something because of this commitment.
But now at the end of the day, I do not regret doing it and may even say yes again because I spent a couple of hours at the V.A. being nice to some old men; flirting with a much younger veteran and got more than twice what it cost in gas to do it.
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