Don't you remember? We had plans, I was to fly over, after a brief rest you were going to be my tour guide through the countryside before you put me on a quick hop to The Netherlands where I was going to meet up with an old friend. Only problem, I forgot the time change and arrived a bit early. When you didn't answer, I flagged a cab and went to breakfast, where I met a group of gypsy. I am currently traveling with them and will update as things happen.

God was stopping by to remind you that he's not real. You might want to stop postponing therapy.

Your mother, with chicken soup and condoms. And a note with her new address right next door. She also had an invitation to your unknown half brother's wedding. She had adopted him out at 14 and he had reconnected. He is a Mormon.

Amazon with my Christmas pressie!

The cat?

The Spanish Inquisition?..

It was me . Well . I haven't seen a penny on child support from u the last 3 months , and our 3 retarded yet cute children were starving . What u want me to do . Wait for u to write the check ?
I took the first axe that I found at the strip bar ( I got a new job , that meth thing ..., u were wrong ! Not profitable !) , and broke in at your place . Now u know . I left b4 u woke up bcz actually I saw your zebra pants and your wallet on the floor . Sorry for the hole in the door . Anyways . Got some food for the litle ones and I am on my way to my medium visit . Call me maybe ?
Ps : they are looking for male dancers too at my place . Are u in ?

A dog's tail thumping against the door.

Robotic vacuum or motorized toy

It was the ghost of sex in that bedroom past

Jehovah's Witnesses who really want to talk you about Jesus?