A man in a Florida supermarket tried to buy half a head of lettuce.
The very young produce assistant told him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce.
The man persisted and asked to see the manager.
The boy said he'd ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, “Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce.”

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “and this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.”

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?”

“Canada Sir,” the boy replied.
“Well, why did you leave Canada,” the manager asked.

The boy said “Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there.”

“Really,” said the manager. “My wife is from Canada.”

“No shit,” replied the boy. “What team did she play for?”