I was attending a family shindig / dinner gathering when one of my family members had the bright idea to ask me to say grace. I sighed heavily and nodded. I believe I started with something like, "Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to witness the union of this food with our bodies..."
Anyway, I think my family finally figured out that I don't share in their beliefs.
Thank you turkey, for growing healthy and strong, then being our dinner...itadakemasu!!
Dear beloved..... Ha ha ... Prince came to mind
"Grace! She was the bitch that married my brother. I thought we were never to speak of her again after the divorce."
Here’s the potatoes, here’s the meat, goddamn it, let’s eat
I'd have just said "GRACE!!!" and started eating.