My partner has let slip a few times that she had experienced something before and isnt going to let that happen again which seems to be the basis of this topic. I know she's damaged but she's trying and I love her so much. I know the only real way in is to stay out and let her find her own feet to come to me. Just hurts to know I am being scrutinised under a micro scope and kept at arms length because of her past relationships. But if I want her this is the road i must travel.

Hero Instinct? Really? Sounds like a manipulative exercise in self-aggrandizement.

I can totally relate 100%

I haven’t shared in the author’s experiences, and so don’t share her conclusions. Personally, I find dating easier and less pressured now that I’m an elder. Firstly, the imperative to breed is gone. Secondly, because I have experienced and observed so many different types of friendships, “relationships,” and diverse human interactions over the years, I no longer think of an ideal or perfect type of connection to another person. That doesn’t mean I don’t have preferences and/or standards. But I feel that there are lots of ways it can look, and many more possibilities to explore.

Nice content, I have dated most of my life, Married and divorced twice. At the wonderful age of 68 I now love the fact that I have matured to a level I wish I had know then. Always wanted love so badly I compromised my own soul. Went along with things I did not want to participate in.
It is more difficult in our later years as is anything else. The population we seek has deep inlaid mind sets. As a youngster it is easy to fall in love because our bar is set with a wide open net. We do not know who we are let alone life time marriage. But that is nature herself.
The greatest love I now know and experience is the love for myself and with that only a specific type of woman can fit my bill. As with her parameters also. But we learn to ignore the trivial knowing that it is just that Trivial.

I really like that page, thanks for sharing.

Mostly agree,
I disagree with the part about having been hurt before. Of course, we all have at this point, but I will not let people from the past fuck with me in the future.

There's some good stuff here, but I don't know if age is necessarily a factor. Some people learn things sooner, some later.

Speaking as a guy, nothing is harder after 50.

Here is the biggest reason it is hard for me. With a great deal on a mobile home and a half acre I have something I can afford at unbelievable price. I'm not going to risk giving it up to be with you in your nice house and have less money still, then if we fail I come back to find I am spending 5 times as much for something less and I just don't have the money.

I'm also not going to go through the bullshit of watching your TV shows this week and mine the next, or doing your things, then my things, etc. (Yes, some people are like that.) A couple can learn to get along and do things together as well as separately. It is OK for them to like different things.

My ex was always influenced by those who told her privately that she should not live in a mobile home and she should have more. Today she does. She is in an apartment and pays about 4 times more. I simply cannot "live on the edge" as so many people do. I once saw a movie about 2 cops who needed $10,000 to start a business so they robbed a bank. It was a serious film but I thought it was funny.

Well now that I’ve read this I’ve come to conclusion that if for whatever reason I should become single again after 50 that I should just use the internet for what it was intended for and leave it that.?

Interesting, but I think that reading between the lines shows that she may be somewhat responsible for her own problems, especially #6.

These are things are about her and that may or may not apply to others. I have similar issues, to varying degrees, except for 5 (revealing my feelings) & 8 (thinking I'm not worthy).

How you can start a relationship being so guarded that you don't reveal your feelings? If you are that gun-shy, perhaps you need more time to heal from your past relationships before you decide to look again.

Why did you post this? What sort of responses are you expecting?

How does one "smell toxicity from a mile away"? If they say "all the right things" how does one tell apart sincerity from toxicity? I guess you can tell insincerity by actions inconsistent with words, but that's just evidence, and not "smelling it from a mile away." I am not necessarily being facetious when I say I would like to learn that trick, if there is one. But I suspect that there really isn't, and we are giving into the confirmation bias.....