I'm so sorry you're going through this. Grief isn't linear, sometimes ebbs and flows, and when you think you're doing better it can rear up again. This time of year also makes it more stressful... Just wondering if you'd considered a bereavement support group. Many hospitals and hospices offer these, free of charge; there are groups that are non-religious, and the deceased did not have to be a patient at that hospital or hospice. I just started in one through my local hospital; it's been helping me deal with losing my mother as well as a friend who just passed

My late wife of 27 years has been gone now 15 months,occasionally,music she liked or a another Women wearing the same perfume will walk by while shopping,so I grab a handkerchief and act like I had an allergy attack,as the tears go down my cheeks. Grieving comes in waves,one minute you are good,the next,is when the water works begin again.

I have been there and, yes there are triggers that keep reminding one of their loss. For me the biggest help was my friends and the community. I am sorry to hear of your loss. Time will help.

Thanatologists (people who study death, loss and grief) refer to a "grief spiral" that comes and goes, gradually decreasing in amplitude overall, but seemingly endless to someone still in its grasp. Think of it as you subconscious, spoon-feeding your new reality to you in bite-size pieces you can handle (or maybe more accurately, gag down). It does eventually end though. I've lost a parent, sibling, spouse and child to "out of band / too soon" death, and it's a consistent pattern, even despite the differences in how it plays out in different relationships. I guess I'm just bearing witness, and testifying that it gets better. I know I can't actually make it better ... but I know the scope of what you're going through all too well.

I'm so very sorry. I know no words that will ease your pain, but please know that you are not alone, there is a big warm community here for you to lean on when you feel you don't have the strength to stand alone. Take care of you, one day at a time.

I am so sorry. Grief seems to roll in like waves after a loss. Keep trying to do your best. Reach out to get help - please. I know there are a bunch of us if we were closer would drop by just to be with you.

Just ride the waves...they will eventually become more peaceful.

I am so sorry. There is no timeline for grief, and sometimes it sneaks up on you.

You will find a way. As a friend of mine who has had and is still dealing with a life altering event, you don't get over these things you learn to carry the burden.

So sorry for your loss. The grieving process is necessary to help you move on. You can't skip it.

I'm very sorry to hear this! Death takes us, shakes us and leaves us wallowing, sometimes. Then, time passes and we get better...UNTIL...some days it sneaks into the back door and hits us hard! Try to remember the good stuff and remember, too, that you are going on...living life....getting better! This WILL improve! I promise! Possibly not today...or tomorrow...or even next week. But..it WILL improve!

Again--I'm very sorry you're going through this loss. xxx

Life has been hard for a lot of us this time of year. My emotions have been so down since Thanksgiving without my partner. I have been pretty much staying home with my dogs and away from people as much as possible. It's really hard to go out and see couples together shopping and holding hands right now. Be kind to yourself, take long baths, listen to guided meditation to get your mind off Sonia for a little while. Volunteer at a animal shelter if you like animals. They are loving and non judgmental when you have tears running down your face. Take naps if you can. Self care is so important.