At the moment, her health is failing. Her mental health, that is, anxiety has taken over. She says she doesn't know why god is keeping her alive. Doesn't he know she wants to die? That's probably what saddens me the most. If I were 90 and wanted to die, I don't think I would allow god to stop me, or at any age really.

She didn't feel up to church so I played. Games cloth her.

Lol. That's one of y biggest gripes. She is not respectful toward toward me at all. She truly believes she should be respected just because of her age and status.

@confidentrealm Yeah that's a problem with a lot of us oldsters.

Of course I've earned an arguably higher default level of respect and deference from those closest to me, but that doesn't mean I can't squander that capital by being an asshat. Besides, epistemological humility demands that I acknowledge I have things to learn from everyone I interact with. For example, my adult stepson is working for me now, and while he's very respectful of my experience and judgment, and knows he has a lot to learn from me, I also respect what he brings to the table, which is a deeper theoretical understanding of my own craft than I have. Things that I have taught to others that intimidates them, look familiar and approachable to him because he's spent years grasping the underlying principles that the vast majority of people haven't.

But if I had grown up with a lot of seniors in my life who think that merely being old gives you a throne to perch on and issue demands and judgments, I might not know any better than to act like that.

Best you can do with someone like that is try to make the conversation about generic things and principles like human / humane kindness and tolerance and respect rather than god's righteousness and judgment. Tall order though, if their whole mentality has ossified around both negative and imaginary concepts. It turns their view of humanity pessimistic and parochial.

Sometimes, a little mental jiu-jitsu works: plug into their world and talk about how god hates gossip, stinginess, judgment, unkindness, how those things are sins. But to pull that off, you have to know their theology pretty well. Better than they do in fact. Once they figure out they know their "truth" better than they do, and know when they're cherry-picking to suit themselves, it shuts them down pretty good. But it's exhausting work.

@mordant I got out of taking her to church. She didn't feel like it. Turns out drinking, playing dice, and talking nasty about people was better. But it hurts when she says things like she doesn't know why god has allowed her to live this long, she wants to die. Especially after her niece and her kindergarten friend died recently.

We will both be okay. I usually think about the people in assisted living I work with as an art therapist. Some of them don't even know where they are or who is around them. The funny thing is that when they paint I can see who they are. My mom is not that way. Her health is much better than some her age.

@sweetcharlotte I hope that I make your day a happier one

@maturin1919 I think so. They played bridge, which is really difficult and you have to have a poker face. So my mom picked up poker naturally.

Yes. All of the above. Thanks

I went to Maine in October. One week was not enough.

Not so easy. I would have rather seen Mary Poppins returns today than taken mom to red lobster.

If the big man in the sky really lived us why does anyone suffer. We must learn a lesson. Bullshit.