I'm not sure if I relayed this within a thread in here or not, but it's been bothering me now for over a week.
On another site, I was corresponding with a woman my age for over a week. The site rated us at 98% compatible when it came down to profile and questions answered.
She's local and we were discussing local restaurants of interest when one day I sign in and she's gone.
She deleted her entire profile (not blocked me) ! We were getting along so well, and now I'm left wondering what I did to mess this up.
To be honest, I'm devistated. ?
3
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The most important thing to remember whenever you meet someone online is to remain emotionally detached until you meet that person and a connection between you is forged and mutually agreed to. I have made the same mistake before, and it taught me a lot about myself and the virtual world in general, which is to say that people are only as good as their options, and some have more options than others. One more thing: that whole compatibility rating stuff is a steaming pile of B.S. When I joined Match, it tried to hook me up with -- wait for it! -- my ex-husband. I can assure you, we were NOT 98 percent compatible because we both liked seafood and the color red.
LaRaconteur
Level 5
Dec 26, 2018
0
Out of over 300 questions, yes we were very compatible.
But I understand what you mean.
I got my expectations up because we were getting along so well.
It's possible she "googled" my name (there are 3+ other people in this city with my name - two of which also have my middle name) and got info she didn't like about the wrong person.
Why she didn't ask instead of just vanishing is what disturbs me most, though.
It happens, and I'd maybe respond similarly as you because of my sensitivity, especially if it just up and happened like that. But it's nothing personal, you were only corresponding with her online for over a week and there could be a million reasons why she disappeared and it has nothing to do with you. If you were that invested in her over a short amount of time and just online, that may be something that you need to look into.
bleurowz
Level 8
Dec 26, 2018
0
I think I just got my expectations up (having been alone for quite awhile now).
She may as some do,be texting with more than one Man,and one had something that got her attention,wait a few days, she may be back,illness,traveling or other problems have taken her away.
Mike1947
Level 7
Dec 26, 2018
0
She deleted all traces of herself from the site.
I'm not expecting a return.
Old boyfriend surfaced, concerned relatives, cold feet, etc etc etc......don't take it personally
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Dec 26, 2018
0
It's not always easy to do
Awe, don't blame yourself. Sometimes people just up and leave with no reason given. It's on them when they disappear. Perhaps something came up in her life and she had to leave the site so she could handle whatever was happening. Get back in there and continue meeting people. Life goes on.....
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
Dec 26, 2018
0
I've been trying.
No one else seems to want to respond.
@Agamic since my husband past away in June, I've been donating my time to dog rescue groups, fostering dogs that need homes, helping out at my grand daughters school and have met so many nice people. Perhaps you should try something like that so you can meet others face to face instead of on the internet. Might have better luck.
Sadly, my job is wishy-washy hour-wise and so it's difficult to plan much more than 2 days ahead, and since my workweek is 12 days in a row, and then a weekend off.
It's hard for me to "get out and about".
If you were so invested in a cyber chat "relationship" that its absences causes you to be devastated within a week, then your intensity may have been what scared her off. I have a male friend that I have been chatting online with for half a year, but have yet to meet in person. If he suddenly disappeared I might be a little sad, but I sure wouldn't take it personally.
Deb57
Level 8
Dec 26, 2018
1
I think "devistated" nay be a little strong, but I did have too high if expectations I guess
What is wro thing with strong depth of feeling? I have been told that I come on too strong,when I have simply misread the situation while meaning no harm. I have always had an I ability to recognize the 'signals' emanating from women
They often are capricious and misleading to me,and have caused confusion to me.
@WayneDalton there is a time and a place for "strong depth of feeling" as well and an inappropriate time and place for them. A week's worth of chat on the internet would definitely qualify as inappropriate. Hell, even a week's worth of lunch dates in person would not warrant strong depth of feeling. What ever happened to allowing things to unfold gradually?
@Deb57 without meaning to,or sometimes even being aware of it,it is possible to feel something too intense.
@WayneDalton Yes, that happens. We cannot always control our inappropriate feelings. We can, however, control our behavior. Failing to control one's behavior often leads others to conclude that one is immature, irresponsible, or even unstable.
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