Thanks for the explanation. I wondered why some people were uncomfortable with the phrase "toxic masculinity" and your explanation helped me understand that they may think the phrase refers to all masculinity as being toxic, rather than just specific expressions of masculinity as being toxic, which is how I see it.

It's sort of like mold. There is toxic mold, that can hurt people and destroy lives, and there is mold than can make delicious cheese. To call the toxic mold out as being toxic does not disparage my favorite Manchego.

@AlPastor I actually used to think that too, that the conversation was some masculinity, but then I started finding more and more feminists and women studies scholars pushing the idea that all masculinity is toxic. Here are just a few examples. I'm not saying it's a universal concept, you are proof of that. I do find it alarming and dangerous. That people seem to think in these all or nothing terms. Example, I don't cry. When I dislocated my hip, or other agonizing painful times. I hold it together. I did have a quiet solemn cry when my mother passed. I made sure my children understood it's ok to cry sometimes.<<magic word right. It's ok to be stoic it's also ok to give comfort. It's teaching a balance I think is important.

[vice.com]

[theglobeandmail.com]

[gq-magazine.co.uk]

@Biosteelman the important thing to remember is that just as men need to call out toxic BEHAVIOR (I think that's a better term for it. I hate things being either masculine or feminine. It only furthers the divide between males and females. Calling certain behaviors feminine creates opportunity for toxic men to bully other men for 'being too feminine' or attacking women for 'not being ladylike'. Instead we need to acknowledge and respect that either gender can and should, be able to be themselves regardless of if something is feminine or masculine.) But just as men need to call out toxic behavior in other men, there are feminists who call out misandry in other women.

There are extremists in everything and just as you do not want to have ALL MEN labeled by Male extremists, feminists don't want to all be labeled as man-hating. Like not all Christian's are KKK and not all muslims are ISIS and not all black people are criminals and not all white people are racists.

The important thing is to stop perpetuating it by yelling at the other side that they are wrong but correct the behaviors on your side.

When I see a feminist being unjustly sexist I call them out on it no different than when I call a man out on it. Same for liberals I call them out on their hypocrisy as I would a conservative. I call atheists out when they say something just as hateful and intolerant as I would a christian.

And I hope, because I'm human, someone would call me out on it when I do it, too.

We cannot grow as humans or as a society if we constantly defend negativity just for the sake of defending our causes. There has to be accountability on all sides and it is our responsibility as logical people to note these behaviors on our sides just as we do on opposing sides.

This also includes listening to eachother and instead of getting defensive when someone says "we don't like that behavior" acknowledge it and try to understand why. Then address it.

@LadyAlyxandrea I do like toxic behaviour much more as it identifies it as separate from masculinity. Not because I can't appreciate the subtle but because it feels like too many other people don't. I agree about bout being defensive. I usually call people out regardless. It's one of my charms or unattractive qualities, that's more a matter of perspective.

That is your place. Support and encourage and protect and guide but never toxic.

@LadyAlyxandrea agree, however toxic means a lot of different things to different people
And it’s easy to over generalize

I know I enjoy gilette. I don't shave anymore because of my disability but when I could they never failed to do the job comfortably and correctly

Nah, with the number of mens rights activists I see daily I'm certain this wasn't a money thing because I know mens rights conservatives are going to trip over theirselves to boycott and scream like toddlers because how DARE people call them out on being assholes

Wow. I would recommend a single edge razor... would do the job much more efficiently and with less pain.

@Wildflower Thanks. I'll keep that in mind if I ever feel my demise would help society along.

@brentan pretty sad that losing your penis is equated with death to you

@LadyAlyxandrea I didn't. I made a joke that it might kill me (loss of blood).

@brentan ah

Spock did feel emotions. So powerfully that logic was necessary to keep him sane

I think BECAUSE of the current administration. I do have to credit Trump and his odd ability to enrage women enough to stand up and speak out