I had a long, happy and fulfilling marriage until my husband rediscovered the church. He changed very quickly and we weren’t good enough anymore. I left as I won’t ever let myself or my sons be ever be made to feel less than. I won’t make that mistake again.

They could not be the love of my life if they were religious. It would never get that far.

Impossible . The " love of my life " has to have brains .
If u mean , he becomes religious AFTER we ve been togheter and such , well , instant turn off for me . I will have to go .

If they are the love of my life they wouldn't be religious ?

My first husband was just as atheist/agnostic as I was. His family was very active in their Congregational Church. He wanted nothing to do with it. When I left him after 16 years he fell apart. He had a breakdown. I called his parents to come and bring him home. He got involved in the church and met some woman he married. They are ultra-religious now. My daughter Becky lived with them in Florida but I had to bring her back to NH due to abuse and neglect of her cerebral palsy. I would have absolutely nothing in common with my ex these days.

If you want kids and don’t want them to have all the baggage associated with religion holding them back there is no way you could marry someone who was religious. This is a values question in the end

I have a slightly different situation. I met and worked with a girl in college (she was a year younger than me). She was living on campus and I was a commuter. We became good friends and we both liked each other very much and even invited me to come to visit her at home when the semester ended (she was living with her parents). I was going to go but at last minute I turned down her offer because of the distance (she lived about 3 hours away in South Jersey). I was still a Catholic at the time but she was a "Born Again" which kind of turned me off not that she pushed or spoke about anything religious to me. 40 years later times have changed and I'm an atheist now and living in South Jersey probably less than an hour away from where she lived. The internet shows she is still living where she grew up so I'm assuming she is nearby. I'm interested in looking her up and seeing how she is doing. Don't know what to expect but even if she is married I'm sure she would be tickled pink to know that I haven't forgotten about her. What if she isn't married and interested in me more than a friend? Could I really date her assuming she hasn't changed her religious beliefs? The religious diversity gap has widened even further.

that just wouldn't happen. i wouldn't fall in love with someone who was very religious. that person would seem way too alien to me.

g

Not a chance.

I could never love someone I couldn't also respect.

Absolutely not.
I don't respect anyone who believes in gods and religion.
No "love of my life" would be someone I couldn't respect.
I try not to spend any time around the delusional.

• there are some situations where it may work if both make serious concessions. Not sure why someone would want to enter into a term relationship with that hanging over their head. It is tough enough!

Yes

If they were the love of my life and we'd known each other all our lives, I imagine we could find a way to work out differences of opinion regarding religion or politics or any other thing. It would not be the ideal situation, but I think I would try it. I prefer not to think of myself as closed minded enough to love my beliefs more than I would love "the love of my life" and I certainly would hope he would be the same way.

Easy piece

Nope.. cuz when the sheen wears thin, reality emerges ~

I have some religious friends that I can tolerate. Like atheists many of them are tolerant of other people's beliefs

Well... belief is a personal thing. I know I don't like being criticized or ridiculed for where I stand on organized religions especially so I do my best not to do the same.

I'm of the mind that sharing a life doesn't necessarily mean one has to do every single thing with the significant other. Having a few things is good, it keeps you together and grounded but I'd go stark raving mad if I had someone in my life following me around trying to do everything I do just to spend time with me. I mean it's appreciated that I'm loved that much but I smother easy.

That said, as long as that other person keeps that very religious idealism to themselves and their own personal practice, I don't really care. Go to church but don't ask me and don't expect me to go. Pray but leave me out of it and I don't need to hear it. If they are truly religious they would be doing what they do for themselves without trying to drag anyone else into it then it's all good. If I thought for one second marriage would mean I had to conform then no. Loving someone doesn't necessarily mean I have to be tied to them through marriage or living together or anything else.

Yes, I would. I know such a person right now and she lives in Jersey. We have never met and each agree that we would marry the other. She says she cannot live in my state. My money would not even buy an apartment in her state. She likes Jersey and New York. I see lack of money as the problem and not religion. I've known her over a year and have talked to her on the phone up to 4 hours at a time. I do not see this working out as a marriage. It's simply a friendship in which she is my "secret wife." Even this relationship is better than no relationship at all.

If they respected my beliefs and he wasn’t a fundamentalist, it’s possible.

That is tough. I answered "don't know" but I'm leaning towards "definitely". Of course, it all depends upon their religion, how religious they were, etc. If they were American fundamentalist, I don't think I could deal with it! If they were just "spiritual", or reform Jew, or Buddhist, I could almost certainly work with it.

Absolutely...assuming they agreed to disagree on religion. Compromises can be made. You know her inside and out and you should know from dating that it's a pretty rare find...
The only issue is do they need support for their religious beliefs? Can the practice their religion without affecting you.