I was reading the police report in my old Hometown, small town weekly paper. A woman called in to report a man smiled at her in a parking lot. The police investigated, but could not find a smiling man.

Approaching a complete stranger to ask for a date and/or phone number is not appropriate behavior in any situation. I'm old school when it comes dating. If I meet someone somewhere and a conversation happens to strike up, I don't take that as any interest outside of a good conversation between two people. I very well may say that I hope to run into the person again, and if lucky enough we may cross paths again. After I have had some interaction with someone under these circumstances, I ask questions to get more info about their situation (significant other, relationship status, etc.) and then decide if it is appropriate to suggest a date. I never blindly ask someone for a date without knowing if they are single first. And assuming otherwise is plain bad form. Respect goes a long way.

I don't think starting up a conversation with a stranger akin to an Ailes, O'Reillys, Weinstein, etc. behaviour.

I see no problem with starting up a conversation with women. (Going the next step and asking for a date when the social situation, content of the conversation, flow of the conversation, etc. doesn't suggest the conversation as a pick up is another thing again. But not a #metoo moment.)

But it's telling of some men that think a casual conversation could be misunderstood as sexual harassment.

Well, if you work at the same place, treat it like a minefield. If you are in any position of power over them, they should be off limits, period.

If they are a random person, use some common sense and treat any decline as permanent. If they are interested they will make it happen.

If you are friends or something outside of work, then they should be able to handle some flirtation.

Guys should also remember that simply accusing someone of impropriety is a huge thing, people rarely do it without good cause.

The grey areas are when there is some mutual interest, but the circumstances of life simply get in the way. Just stay in touch and let life move on.

It definitely make me think twice, especially at work. I think these a-holes like Weinstein deserve it, but it certainly sends a chill down my spine. I have worked with some real batshit crazy women in my past. It goes both ways.

Women are not here to appease men. If men feel threatened by #metoo, then perhaps there's a reason they feel that way. Approaching a woman in a parking lot while her hands are full and her children are around her is not at all a smart thing to do. What else is a woman supposed to think if a man she doesn't know approaches her in that situation? Most women would assume the guy has possible harm on his mind. Even if the woman was child-free, had no packages and was just walking to her car, being approached by a strange guy is not ok. There are times and places where guys can meet women, such as at a singles event, a meetup group, online dating, a bar or club. Guys don't need to approach women they don't know in parking lots, and the fact that this guy did would immediately set my radar off. If he can't find a date through other dating venues and feels the only way he can meet women is by approaching them in parking lots, that strongly suggests to me that he isn't a guy you want to spend a lot of time with. I'm glad his intentions were, essentially, innocent and he just wanted to ask you out for coffee. But it worries me that he felt the only way he'd have a chance at getting a date was through the shock factor of approaching a woman he doesn't know in a parking lot. To quote Canadian author Margaret Atwood, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." For the men: don't be that guy.

I think any man who's changed the way he interacts with women in the wake of Weinstein, Cosby, et al either doesn't understand the situation or is a piece of shit. However, I would try to be considerate when approaching a strange woman. It's understandable that anyone, especially a lone woman, would be on edge in the right (wrong) circumstances.

It's sad the way things are going. Persistent predators like Weinstein, Cosby and Spacey needed to be exposed, but once the Internet vigilantes get a taste of blood, they start widening their sights. The next thing you know, they're ripping into anyone who may have made a clumsy drunken pass at someone, once, 40 years ago (such as the allegation being made against George Takei at one point.)

If anyone claims they no longer understand the rules, they're ridiculed. This means that we don't get to the bottom of what is and isn't acceptable behaviour these days. No, a man can't randomly walk up to a woman and pinch her behind anymore. That's perfectly reasonable. But it's got to the point where even continuing a conversation after being told 'no' amounts to sexual harassment.

How many people are happily married to someone who didn't take 'no' for an answer the first time they were told it? There is a thrill of the chase for both sides in the human mating ritual, and I feel we're in real danger of destroying it in the name of political correctness.

Men already have poor reputation among women, I just don't want to feed the "creep" stereotype. So I wait for a genuinely interested girl to show signs before I approach her.

It's interesting, and enlightening to hear women's perspectives on this whole subject. The answer is a big YES, we're now paranoid as fuck. And I'm not even on the look-out for a female partner.

It takes nothing more than an accusation to ruin a man's life. This misuse of the the #meetoo movement could end up being its undoing.

And interestingly, the most criticism for this observation comes from men, even here in this web site.

It makes me more nervous about doing it tbh. There are some that are sensible about these things, but I’ve known instances where people just saying they are interested and asking someone out was seen as sexual harassment. To me if you’ve done it respectfully, and the answer is no and you backed off, it isn’t. Also I’ve found if you dare to have this opinion, you’re often shot down as being ‘part of the problem’. As society in general though we’ve become scared of real life interaction. You try to strike up a conversation with a stranger on the bus and you’re considered weird nowadays.

I would Never blame a guy for respectfully asking fr coffee or a date....altho your parking lot scenario is iffy at best! But if I say no thank you, anything beyond that is inappropriate, period. Women have been raised to worry about other's feelings and anyone who takes advantage of that is a nasty piece of work!

While I tend to believe most accusations of grossly unnappropriate behavior towards some simply because of the number of accusers, I also tend to be outraged at the potential for abuse by some women who might not be truthful, and I am still a believer in "due process". Case-in-point: Duke lacrosse team. Just sayin'.

Men are pretty unsecure animals. True story... first girl I met in Crete... she was from Norway. I been drinking... I approached her and she say hi... I attempt to speak to her and spit on her by mistake of course due intoxication... her reaction is as expected... You spitted on me! So I just said... I am sorry, I been drinking and I am Puerto Rican I am used to Rejection. She said you are Puerto RIcan? Figure out the rest of the story but what I meant to say to the guys is watch "Carlito's Way" and the scene when his girl tell him... "if you don't get in, you don't get it". I had met women in the most ridiculous ways. But the key is... I had met them. I had Royally Fumbled on first dates, like spilling a drink on her on our first thing, we still got married and had 3 kids together. Just be Sensitive to know when She Said No, she meant No. And Remember... "You show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I will find you a man tired of her shit". We are Nothing but Humans after all... Flawed Humans.

I don't think I'd put my hands up but I do find it really awkward to approach a girl I'm attracted too. It has nothing to do with #MeToo and I think people have broadened that out way too far - we know what abuse looks like and a bit of flirting or asking for a number isn't that. For me, I'm a bit shy and I find it hard to read whether there is interest from the other person - and I just think the girl might be weirded out by it and not appreciate the approach. That's probably not the case at all but it just feels weird unless you can start a natural conversation first and judge if they are interested in you.

I can see that approaching women in isolated places can be very confronting and do not recommend it. I have no concerns approaching women in public places, not that I do so to ask them out. In 3 organisations I have been the person to whom sexual misconduct could be reported, in each case it was female staff who made the request. My title at one company was "Sexual Harassment Officer" with the comment that if anyone wanted to be harassed they should come to me, but that no-one else in the organization was permitted to hassle the girls. It was partly tongue in cheek, but also recognition that things were not as good as they should be. I did cause a couple of managers to lose their jobs for misconduct. To be honest, things are bad, guys have brought this on themselves, but looking back over the past 50 years, many many women and girls actively encouraged behaviour that is not acceptable any more. As a junior I was groped many times by female staff, both my age and much older.The world has changed. I believe for the better, I hated working with sleazebags.

This theme of conversation reminds me of an experience I had with my brother. We were walking down the street late at night and we were gaining on a woman on the same side walk. As we approached her, I veered off the sidewalk and crossed to the other side of the street, and we passed her. After a while, my brother asked me why I had crossed the street. I said that we had been gaining on that woman and I didn’t want to scare her.
He said that was what he thought. Then I asked him if he would have crossed the street. He answered that if he had been alone he would have crossed the street a bit earlier than when we did. We both had the same thought - him a little earlier.

I think the moral of this story is that it’s everyone’s job not to scare the shit out of other people. I, even as a female, was aware that our greater speed and greater numbers could be interpreted as threatening, and so I crossed the street. Males often act as if they are the only ones doing this because like my brother, you “cross the street” earlier than I “crossed the street.” This makes sense as men are on average more threatening than women, so yes, you might give bigger berth than I do.

I personally think that everyone has the right to ask someone else out (once - if they say no, you need to respect boundaries) provided there is no potential conflict of interest.
That being said, if we are going to be promoting a gender role on whose responsibility it is to ask someone out, I try to promote women doing the asking out. Men always have to navigate the inherent physical size difference (which isn’t going away) and other patriarchy power dynamics (which aren’t going away fast enough) to get in the good graces of women (basing off heterosexual relationships in the advice obviously). It is much better to have women ask men out as a societal norm in my opinion. For women I tell them it works in your favor. The chances of you picking out an asshole out of group of men is much less than an asshole picking you out and targeting you.

I think society is undergoing a much needed paradigm shift in how men and women interact on several different levels. Until we get it worked out, things are likely to be kind of uncomfortable, and a bit awkward for a while.
Btw, Hollywood is not the only place with the problem. It has existed everywhere, for a very long time. The #MeToo movement has been a long time coming, and it's not going anywhere. There have been too many people (mostly male, but some female) who have been getting away with their bullshit antics for far too long. It's going to take a minute to sort through all this bs. Don't blame women for men not knowing how, or being too scared, to approach a woman. That is not a valid argument, it's an excuse for not being able to communicate clearly and with confidence. Approaching women isn't the problem, it has never been the problem.
If some men and women can't handle the changes happening, that's on them. Would you prefer going back to the Victorian-era practices of courtship? Btw, those only worked for the upper classes. Regular people still met and courted the same way they always had.

I don't think I'm going to have any further problems, as it still takes all the courage I can summon to even talk to girls in the first place.

It's good that men now have to stop and consider the consequences of their actions. It's about time.

I have no problem "approaching" women. My only desire is getting to know who she is as a person, and sharing who I am. Occasionally, that initial conversation turns into more, and every once in a while, those conversations lead to more. I can never have too many real and honest friends. I could not be less interested in "hookups". And, I have the benefit of not being accused of anything inappropriate. When you respect people, you don't treat them as objects.

My friends tell me I'm not typical of males.

A terrifying situation is now made worse as you have to worry if the lady you are interested in us going to call the police f she doesn't like you

All my life, if I see a woman who I would like to meet, I will approach her, apologize for my forwardness, and ask if I could make her acquaintance. I have never had any bad reactions in doing that and have met many women. Nothing ventured, nothing gained,

Wow. If ever I get back in the game I'm going to try that approach, "Stay calm. I mean you no harm."

Simple answer, yes. Even with cases like Aziz Ansari who went on a date with someone and left. The tried to sue saying that they felt 'uncomfortable'... So even when it feels mutual, you never know...

Both sex are falt for this. I don't blame him for doing what he did. It's because a lot of women tend to be nervous with a guy walking up to them in places that don't tend to have a lot of people. Meanwhile there have been a lot of men who have given women a reason to have that fear. Even in public place a lot of men tend to be nervous/scared to speak to a woman that they don't know for fear of scaring them.