How much are our behaviours influenced by how we've been programmed by parents and life.
When life and living are not satisfying, males and females are often challenged by their programming, wherever it came from. The attached photo suggests one example.
Science says we're defined by our paradigms; our programming from experiencing people and events which have been influential.
My experience is that programming can get in the way of relating effectively with others, and ourselves. For some, a paradigm shift is just too hard, or is not even seen as an option.
25 years ago i was in a loving intimate relationship with my best friend. It had been about 2 years and things were not going smoothly. We rarely saw each other thanks to our respective professional aspirations. We had even begun arguing about what each wanted to do when we did connect at home; those quakes often ended with each us storming out in a different direction; another weekend shot is what i remember thinking as my frustrations grew and my anger began percolating.
Then one Saturday morning the relationship imploded and Dianna taught me a valuable lesson about my programming.
As i spewed my frustrations at her, arrogantly and aggressively, she jumped up and yelled, "I don't have take that shit; i won't just suit here listening to that abusive tone and those disrespectful accusatory words from you or anyone." (paraphrased but you get the drift.)
Her words stopped me cold, and shut me up. My voice had been my fathers yelling at my mother. The epiphany floored me. I had fought with my father for many years, never really bridging the divide, and i had just been shown that i had become what i had resisted; and at times even hated. (Dianna and i are good friends again)
Dianna showed me that I'm not always aware of my programming, and if it doesn't make me happy, or worse, makes me unhappy, i need to edit my programming and overwrite the script in my head.
Working on mindfulness while reflecting in and on actions has helped me do that. But it is a work in progress, and probably always will be.
What do you think?
#behaviour #GenderProgramming
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4 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I feel that once we reach adulthood - it becomes OUR own programming.
evergreen
Level 8
Jan 18, 2019
1
@evergreen and @mzbehavin, i believe you're both correct. I believe that our programming becomes our own and dictates what we do or don't do because we find comfort from doing whatever it is. Trump is a classic example of such a person in the public eye.
But even as and when we try to overcome some programmed behavioural compulsions, some stay with us forever, whether we want them to or not. I equate those with compulsions like smoking and alcoholism. We can certainly mindfully and consciously hold them in check, but they are percolating in the background nevertheless.
I do have a few of those, thankfully not destructive to me or those around me when i weaken. LOL
I definitely think we pick up a lot of behaviors from the way we're raised, and if we're not aware of them we'll repeat them with other people in our lives. It's an ongoing challenge to be aware of the patterns and learning what we can do to change them. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just own it.
bleurowz
Level 8
Jan 17, 2019
1
Absolutely.
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