Sometimes it's no one's fault, people grow apart. Or they get involved for the wrong reasons to begin with. Or it was for the right reasons, but perhaps it was meant to be for a certain amount of time... For myself, I know I had failed relationships and also false starts at a certain time because I wasn't in a good place in my life. And even if I had another one now, there's still no guarantee that it would work out -- not because I'm in a bad place, but because sometimes it happens even with the best intentions... I do know that if I did meet someone now, I would want to make sure I was going into it with my eyes wide open, and that the other person was, too. And that we each own our stuff -- that's vital.

My ex and I had many good years despite core differences in personality, values, and chemistry. In my mid-50’s, I realized I didn’t want to look back later and ask why I didn’t think I deserved more happiness. I left and have never regretted it. Many acquaintances questioned why I left “a perfectly good marriage,” but things aren’t always what they appear from the outside. Lesson learned: Don’t compromise on the big differences.

Maybe there's a reason for that, or two... How many people are going to be honest enough to blame themselves, at least partially, for the failure? Secondly, I've seen plenty of nastiness on these boards towards people who blame someone of the other gender for anything seen as wrongdoing, whether it's ghosting, dating people much younger, etc.. So why would most people want to be judged by the other members in " Relationship Court" here on the boards? I could see how most would not feel the potential help would be worth the scorn and criticism....

Me, married twice, beaten up severely by the first wife regularly and often almost mercilessly, cheated on by the second, had 3 relationships since the second, treated the partners, female, like bloody princesses and got dumped because I wouldn't change myself to suit their ideals.

Geez, I for one know my successful 38-year marriage was just pure luck. My first marriage failure was because I should never have married him to begin with. My failed relationships after I became a widow were because after two years I was too ready for a relationship and accepted things I should never have accepted. I really just want to have fun on this site instead of airing out my dirty laundry.

I’ve been very open as to the end of my marriage. No other person or extreme drama involved. I made a choice to leave after my ex decided he wanted become a christian. It effected our whole marriage and how he treated me and our sons.

I learned shortly after the end of mine that nobody knows what you know, and the best of friends will admit that. And, it can take years to figure out on your own..

Mine? She was overanxious, eventually diagnosed as such. A caregiver, I was able to provide her the shelter, love and reassurance she needed. As I raised our children, she couldn’t get over the fact they need my attention, too…

She took off, found another caregiver, a really nice guy … while I continued to shelter, love and reassure our daughters. Did well, though lean & scary times. Responsibility and shock slowed me up finding anyone else, a 30 year r/s.. She near instantly married.

I’ve been married 3 times, with a few other significant relationships along the way. I think it’s natural to want to blame the other party; being honest though, I certainly am accountable as well. Some cases more than others.
My first husband cheated(4 years of marriage). I offered to try counseling to repair it, but he refused. Second ex, kind of never grew/grew up: he became increasingly dependent and was irresponsible with money, counting on me to ‘handle’(pay!) it. During year 13, I gave him the boot.
Then I got fooled and hooked into a narcopath. 3 years of hell that I did NOT deserve. My accountability was that instead of getting help, I kept going back, giving chances. Finally was able to get him out of my home and life.
Not having learned my lesson, I married a narcissist. 10 years, and it was both of us. Telling him what I thought was wrong was useless with him because none of it was ever HIS problem. Ugh.
Lesson learned. When my serious gf started showing toxic behavior, I got out right then.
It’s a process and I’m still learning.

Some people don't kiss and tell.

Or maybe they're private people that don't air their dirty laundry in public for random strangers to comment on.

I can only speak for me on this subject but the reason my marriage failed is personal and private and as and when I get to know someone, if they were interested, I would tell them. In answer to your second point if a post covers what I experienced I do comment and offer support

You are right there. Unfortunately most or a lot of people only see a fail relationship as it is the other person's fault, they never see what part they had in that failure. I had two marriages and I am aware of what went wrong and what part I had in that. Some of it I could have improved but some of it not as it went against my beliefs about decency and fairness.