I'm very sorry you have lost your mother. I hope you are comforted by the good memories the two of you made together. Your decisions as to whether to participate in a ritual or not are your own, and you are certainly entitled to them. Had your mother been conscious, you might have decided differently. Your decision didn't affect her. One thing I have understood about religious ritual, especially as it pertains to death and funerals, is that many people depend upon them in order to get closure and to cope. I feel lucky that I don't need them, but I also don't feel threatened by witnessing them or even going through the motions of participating to a limited degree. If you look at your participation in a religious death ritual as a favor you are doing for the people around you, it doesn't make you a hypocrite - it makes you a kind person. You might even take away a little comfort from the familiarity of some ritual, even if you don't believe the reason for it is real, especially if you know it would have comforted your mother. You can object to religion on principle at other times when those around you are less emotionally fragile.

So sorry to hear of the loss of your Mum. What was she like? She must have had so many memories to share.
As for the faith thing, I have been to church on several occasions, bowed my head and said to myself, "this is nonsense, I am here for....(insert event)". Church and traditions are human creations but some bits are nice.
Love your Mum's amazing achievement, cherish her memory, don't worry about the words. Give yourself time and space to grieve. Much love

Ok, my answers are all over the board as I was not real sure what your question was...

I don't have issue with either response. When religious rituals make a nonbeliever umcomfortable, it makes good sense to step away. Likewise, even when one believes that such rituals have no power, joining in at such a time in order to draw comfort from sharing in the activity with loved ones harms no one and can be helpful for some.

If you are trying to say that you WISH that you could draw honest comfort from such, I hear you. I wish the after life aspects of the fairy tale was true when faced with loss.

No one should make you feel wrong if aspects of belief were tolerated or even comforting at such a time. No one keeps score of how "strong" your atheism is. Death is the toughest event I've ever had to face in this life journey. If anything can help with the pain, can get me through it, I'd see that as a good thing. I told myself relious things when my husband passed. I do not believe that way now, but don't punish myself. It got me through.

My sincere condolences at the loss of your mother. 101 was a long life. I know that even at that, it could feel too short.

You were true to your understanding of life and honest to the end. They say funerals are for the living, which include such rites for some. You’ve risen above in life, and remained their for death, and I suspect we’re all by your side in thought. May we all experience 101 ~

You have nothing to apologize for. We are here to support you in difficult situations. Many here have experienced the same decision making you have. There is no one solution. Find what works for you. There are posts & comments in groups that deal with this issue here on agnostic. Your mother is at peace. Her energy has shifted to something different. Please feel free to post anytime you need to, for as long or as often as you wish. Writing can help you work thru dilemas. No one will berate you for you thoughts. You are welcome here to work things out. Good luck & heal soon.

I am very sorry for your loss I lost both parents in the last three years, and had to arrange christian services for both, since it is what they and others wanted. Just remember that nine out of ten of the other people there will not believe either, most people don't. We only go to these things for the people, not the religion. There is no lose of principle in attending church at any time, it is only a building and a service is only words without meaning.

I would attend any wake and funeral gathering for the sole purpose of paying my personal respects to all those involved then I would leave.