@Celanawe I hope we are helping and you see you are not alone.

Perspective, in my opinion, is one of the best and most powerful gifts that anyone can possess. The problem is that it often can't be experienced from where you are currently standing.

This is where the objective outsider can help. From the dense fog that you are standing in, there is seemingly nowhere to go and no point in taking that first step.

If you could only realize that the end of the fog is so close by. That outside that dark forest you find yourself in, it's still a bright and beautiful day outside. The objective outsider is standing outside the dark forest and calling your name.

That enough metaphors for you? Then take that first step my friend and go seek professional help. There is absolutely no reason for you to suffer alone when good help is available to provide you that new perspective that you desperately need.

The point is to do good for the world. & to leave it a better place than you found it. Find a purpose. Seek satisfaction thru your own good deeds.

We are all here for you.

We all go through struggles, you just have to choose which ones are worth going through.

If something or someone is not making you a better person, is not encouraging and motivating you, you've gotta let go. Even if it hurts.

Get knocked down a few times, but get back up and fight back stronger until you are tired of feeling pain. You deserve better than what you're allowing yourself to go through right now.

Get up and TRY again, My Friend.

Life is not what our society says it is. Nature's plan is much simpler than that romantic myth our collective society maintains is true. The real plan as per nature, is you are sufficiently attracted to some female, or she to you, the two of you enter into a period of "consorting pairs", the union results in a pregnancy...the is the end to nature's plan. You get bored, or she gets bored and the union is then over. As far as nature is concerned, the plan was successful. As far as our collective society is concerned, there is now another horny and lonely male looking for sex and another waitress who is desperate to find "true love"...or at least find some new guy who can take her out of the poverty and miserable job she has found herself in. I hate to break it to you, but 46 is fairly old to just now be figuring this shit out.

Sounds like you need a vacation, my friend. Time to hop on a plane and go far, far away for awhile. Meet yourself a woman. Have yourself a nice little vacation fling.
Remind yourself of just how good it can be to be alive sometimes.

Well, sure, but while you heal you can distract yourself with watching favorite Netflix shows, taking early morning walks, joining community groups that share your interests, taking CBD oil (known to raise the mood), doing some sport or outdoor activity that interests you..hiking, canoeing, tennis, etc. Just make yourself do it "this once," without thinking about it, and it should help.

Allow yourself the time to heal. It’ll be difficult at first but you will rediscover yourself again.

Separated a little over a year ago.lost my house..abandoned my job....felt just like you and did myself damage..but I'm happy now most days. Got a job and apartment in a new state where family is nearby and have made new friends. Everything is not a lie..but maybe nothing lasts forever.Everything Changes. Hang in and this community is a great place to vent. We are here for you.

Try disconnecting from everything/everyone and just doing what makes you feel good, gives you pleasure and be happy.

Please see a counselor to heal from the divorce and learn from your experience. Healing is a process.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right," Henry Ford said.

This is your life, not a rehearsal.

Glass half empty then? LOL

Life is what you make of it.....

Aw sorry. Time to leave it all behind & start a new life. To heck with them all!

I get that feeling too. Though still not convinced it's all a lie, just fewer truths and real beauty than I used to believe. Got to find some motivation to keep keeping on but some days it just isn't there. Ugh