Daily Blasphemy: “Jesus fuckin Christ.” When I first heard someone say that, it raised my Christian hackles. I thought “that guy’s gonna get his ass smote by the Almighty.” But of course, he went on, hale and hearty for years, with no apparent penalty, divine or otherwise. This added to skepticism already cresting in my early 20’s. I wondered how God could let it slide, his son being dissed like that. After all, they say he had 42 children mauled by bears for making fun of his homie Elisha. And he destroyed entire cities for not worshipping a god they’d never heard of. As my own little blasphemies went unanswered, as did my many questions, prayers, and search for actual religious meaning, I started to smell bullshit. So now, I recommend blasphemy as a way to enlightenment (civilization may even depend on it). “Jesus Christ on a crutch” is a good one. “Jesus jumped-up Christ” is another favorite. Or how about “Jesus, Mary and Joseph in a drunken threesome.” You may even incorporate farm animals or power tools. There are many options you can choose, with no worries, because none of these personages actually exist. So how do you blaspheme?
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7 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I'm partial to "Jesus H. Christ on a cracker"
JordanMarsh
Level 4
Feb 18, 2019
0
I've always been fond of "Jesus H fucking Christ on a bike!"
I find is slightly poetic
LenHazell53
Level 9
Feb 18, 2019
0
I combine "Jesus H. Christ" with "Jesus Fuckin' Christ" to get "Jesus H. Fuckin' Christ." If I want to elongate it, I'll say, "Jesus H. Fuckin' Christ on a stick!"
BestWithoutGods
Level 8
Feb 18, 2019
2
The answer that religious people will give is that he will suffer after life in hell. They say things that can't be directly disputed because there is no way of studying it or knowing. The beliefs that some people have are fucking ridiculous fairy tales. Believing that because someone says Jesus Fucking Christ that they're going to burn in a hell forever after life is bordering on psychotic if not already psychotic, among other things.
Piece2YourPuzzle
Level 8
Feb 18, 2019
2
@BlastedRedeemer When don't they try to justify the contradictions in the bible? Lol
Blasphemy, a Law created by man to stop an Imaginary Being from getting its Imaginary Feelings hurt.
I 'blaspheme' in which ever way suits me and the situation best at the time, I use terms like Cheesus Crust, Moses on a Moped, Jesus Frigging Christ and numerous others far too vulgar to be printed here.
Triphid
Level 9
Feb 18, 2019
2
@BlastedRedeemer Thanks, I've had years and years of practice at being a 'Heathen' too.
God dammit, although I don't understand how people think that's blasphemous. I'm just asking god to do me a solid and damn something for me. Never seemed to work though... odd.
Alimacbean
Level 7
Feb 18, 2019
2
Enjoy being online again!
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