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Advice!!
Recently started dating someone. Great person. Want that person in my life. Unfortunately im not sexually attracted, granted that could change over time with friendship. Iv told this person how I felt(they asked) Dont want them in friend zone. Not fair for either party.

Kornkakes 4 Feb 26
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15 comments

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I saw the picture that you have with the guy sitting in the car next to you. I cannot blame you for not being attracred to him, he is too skinny to bony, and I think he may be anorexic. It could be that you like him as a friend and you do not want to be alone. However that is not fair to him or to you. If you make yourself sleep with him in an attempt to start a spark, you will regret it and you will start to despise him and then yourself. Do not jump into a sexual relationship because you are afraid to lose a friend. Be true to yourself. If it is not there it is not there, just don't string him along. The right guy will come along.

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If you are not sexually attracted then they should probably just remain a friend.

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Quite simple really,stop dating if not sexually attracted.

You havent said how they reacted to your offer of friendship.If you suspect they are sexually attracted to you you must not lead them on,as you say its not fair to them

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If you told the person true, just like you told us, the ball is in his or her court. You've made a decision, now he or she needs to decide, and you should accept it either way. I'm in a few friends zones myself. It can work.

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That's hard. Rejection is painful that would be like constant rejection. Constant feelings of inadequacy. Maybe you would be doing both of you a favor and just be friends. Find someone you are attracted to. You'll both be happier

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Houston, we Got a Problem!

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For me liking someone and being attracted to them is intertwined. Even if they are 'just' a friend there will be some physical attraction. I probably won't act on the physical attraction all that often but it IS there. Maybe figure out why you're not physically attracted to them? Maybe you don't like them as much as you think you do?

1

Never f@*K someone when you don't really want to - for your sake and theirs

you want the person in your life but don't want to have sex with them. Thats fine. What do they want? If theyre prepared to be in your life without a sexual relationship then thats a result. BUT if theyre not.... then thats a whole lot of trouble youre stirring up.

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Depends.
If you're demisexual, sexual attraction usually doesn't set in until over a year into the relationship.

You might be able to delay the break up by giving him a few sexual favors but with most men the sweet spot of fun courtship in a new relationship doesn't last long before you are pressured to either start putting out or break up.

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Friend zone.too late sorry.

I have no close male friends, but plenty of close female friends, some are ex lovers,
3 are ex partners and some have always been in friend zone.
You want that person in your life, but not sexually attracted,
are they sexually attracted to you?
Do you want them in your life, but want someone else for sex in the future or you want this person to be in a mutually exclusive relationship with you but without sex?
It all adds up to friend zone to me,

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I don't think you can force being sexually attracted to someone. You can certainly have sex with someone you're not really all that attracted to, and it might even feel good for a while, but it's not something you can sustain.

Ask yourself how you would want to be treated by someone you were attracted to but who wasn't attracted back. You'd want that person to be honest, respectful, and direct wouldn't you? You'd want that person to not lead you on. And I think that's your answer.

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Yeah that is what I seem to have in my life as well, former lover/friends. I have a hard time just keeping it what it is with these friends. You’re right somewhat it’s not fair, and it’s important to make sure that stays in the communication. I really never want to hurt anyone.

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Move on seems to me that if the relationship does not have a spark you are just using this man, how much do you want to hurt someone else? At some point in this relationship you will come across someone else you are sexually attracted to, then what? @Gwendolyn2018 is totally correct it is exactly what I have observed in my life.

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Is there some reason you don't want sex at this time, such as just broke up but haven't gotten over it? If there is no reason for no sexual attraction, then I doubt you will develop any. Don't fake it, that too isn't fair to either party.

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Make yourself sexually attracted or leave. Otherwise you're trying to have your cake and eat it too... Indecision.

What's gonna happen when someone you ARE attracted to shows interest? Can you honestly say that you won't be tempted to cheat or leave?

I'm not saying you should leave them. But you need to manipulate your perception and make yourself attracted to them if you do chose to stay. It's within your power as an intelligent being to do that.

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