1. My nose is crooked.
2. My penis is crooked.
3. My scruples are crooked.
4. My sense of humor is crooked. (Think Andy Kaufman)
5. I think lists are crooked.

1 I have a walking stick that was crafted by beavers.
2. I was hospitalized after being hit with a wiffleball.
3. I was “Rudy’s” backup on our high school football team.
4. The Chicago Tribune published a true story I submitted about finding a live snake in my toilet tank.
5. One of my ears is lower than the other one.

Hmm… five useless facts about me. Well, here goes:

1. I can wiggle my ears, which is both useless information and a useless ability.
2. I've never been outside the U.S., despite living really close to the Canadian border.
3. I've never flown in an airplane.
4. I live in a winter wonderland, and I hate snow.
5. I have approximately 50 first cousins on my father's side.

1. I taught myself to read electrical schematics. I found a bunch of television electrical schematic diagrams in a abandoned closet at my house when I was 10 years old. I copied the symbols on them and figured out what they meant by going to the local library. Oddly, we didn't even have a television, nor did I ever figure out why we had them. Also taught myself basic electronics from books.

2. The house I grew up in was built almost entirely by my father, except for the chimney and oil furnace in the center of the house. The brick mason who built it told my father that it would outlast the house. He was wrong. The house lasted at least 12 more years than the chimney. The house was huge, it started out as a normal house, and then dad built another house around the first one, and adding an extra floor, and a small indoor basket ball court approximately a half court. Never got other than a cement floor. Served mostly as storage and shop area for projects.

3. My first ten-speed bike was from Sears. It came in a large box, completely un-assembled. Dad bought it and gave me one, and my brother one. We were barely big enough to ride them, and Dad refused to help us put them together. He said we needed to figure it out ourselves. Brother and I put them together and had them for years.

4. Growing up we had at various times the following animals or plants. chickens, geese, pigs, pigeons, guinea pigs, hamsters, iguanas, tropical fish, parakeets, amazon parrots, African grey parrots, cockatoos, cockatiels , finches, rabbits, goats, horses, Shetland ponies, cattle, dogs, cats, and African violets. Most of them lived in the house, if smaller than a dog, except for rabbits, they lived outside (we had 400) My first conversation with my wife was regarding the statement that I did not ever want pets.

5. My brother and I dissected crawdads that we caught in a local stream and figured out how to operate the detached claws with a battery and coil apparatus. We also caught and collected spiders and held tournaments with them. Winners were kept in aquariums (minus water) and fed flies we captured. Perhaps I might not be all that benevolent a god after all.

Haha! #5 makes me sound a bit like a psychopath! I swear I am not.

I was a choir boy, from age 10 to 12, hey I got paid for it.

I love iced coffee.

There are 2 big dents in my head from acci''dents''

I have had a fuzzy brain since I was 5 years old. That was after I acquired my first dent.

My dry sense of humour, often gets me into trouble.

1. I am currently on a journey to be more health conscious

2. The only state I have been to not touching a great lake is Kentucky

3. I like to cuddle but don't need it to be happy

4. I had a bass guitar because of the band, KoRn

5. Last summer I conquered a fear of roller coasters, thanks to my best friend and rode every single coaster on a trip to Cedar Point.

@ RedcupcoffeeI wouldn't put your 2 and 3 in the useless basket.

1. I have 4 more ribs than most people (I have 28)
2. I have 2 sets of most of my adult teeth triples for canine teeth so lots removed, and nearing 60, I still have heaps.
3. my floating ribs have been so badly smashed so many times they are no longer individual ribs but form floating plates, no longer painful thankfully.
4. I an rhesus negative blood type but most tests show rhesus positive due to weird extra things in my blood.
5. I am a symbiot (we all are if we include the flora in our gut) due to an infection I got when I was 12 and have a marine bacteria in me (see weird thing 4) {I think this is how parasites evolved, they got inside us and survived, mine doesn't do me any harm any more as far as I know, has issues at the entry site for a few years, good result is my immune system is in overdrive fro other infections now}

1. I’m a nihilist.
2. I’m broke.
3. I get annoyed easily.
4. I don’t think I’m better than everyone else, but I’m not as stupid as most humans.
5. I am not satisfied with life.

1. My life revolves around my computer.

2. My offspring never bought me a dishwasher.

3. I was raised by nuns.

4. I can sleep for 16 hours.

5. I like my dog more than people.

1. I can bend many of my fingers completely flat back against my hand
2. I can do almost anything with my feet that I can do with my hands
3. I have been on (and kicked off of) a movie set with Tom Hiddleston
4. I speak 6 languages, including klingon and ancient elvish, but none fluently because I start mixing them all together and then failing miserably
5. I'm so bad at math that they put me in 5th grade math just so I could get enough math credits to graduate high school

1. I was in a production of the musical "Hair" when I was 16.
2. Susan Sarandon was my baby-sitter when I was little.
3. The only long jokes I remember in detail by heart are two told to me by an ex-boyfriend over 30 years ago.
4. I own my grandmother's 80-year-old typewriter and it still works.
5. I got run over by an ice skate blade when I was a kid and still have a scar on my hand from the stitches.

I like that its useless -
I was suicidal till I hit fifty.
I don't drink don't like it very much . I lived in Germany for two years.
married once separated once
I'm in a heterosexual relationship.

1. I was once a physical education major.
2. My music was featured in a weekly TV show in Jacksonville FL, Latino in the City.
3. I may had done the first article 15 NJP in the Navy over satellite communications, I was in Germany and My judge in England. I got a slap in the wrist for saving the military money.
4. I almost got murdered over 30 years ago. Somebody else got murdered instead within an hour and they tried to pin it on me.
5. All 4 guys involved are dead. I been told.

This is fun..

1. I’ve lived in 9 different states since I’ve been an adult. 2. I was on The Price Is Right and won the show case show down.
2. I have a signed autograph from Farrah Fawcett.
3. I played Helen Keller in a high school play. 5. I brush my teeth on the way to work every morning and afternoon.

I animals and would have a farm if I had enough money and property.

I hold grudges.

I am my mother's caregiver.

I love to cook!

I have very good friends!

1. Knows that the total word count in the complete works of William Shakespeare is 884421 words.

2. Knows that pi to 20 decimal places is 3.14159265358979323846

3. Has made snake and bullwhips out of the finest kangaroo hide - most of them short enough to comfortably use indoors. AHEM!

4. Did a charity performance of 'Three Little Maids From School' (from Gilbert and Sullivan's 'The Mikado' ) in front of an audience of 800, with two other male friends. We were all dressed as schoolgirls - and one of us had a beard. I was 'Yum-Yum', by the way.

5. I have a toxic reaction to alcohol. ANY alcohol, and I get very ill very quickly. Searing headache, shivering and violently heaving my guts out within 15 minutes - and a single glass of wine is CERTAINLY enough to bring out the effect.

I use charcoal toothpaste too! I get it from Japan, I thought I was the only one in the U.S. using it.

1. Never had a lover
2. Masturbates at least daily since age ten
3. Wishes hopelessly for two gorgeous lesbians to enter his life
4. House is paid for
5. Has a technology that will ruin Apple, Intel, and Google

I'd say your #2 is useful knowledge.

Got me on the wig...

1. I collect pandas and owls

2. I grew up in Nashville, but on a whim moved to be closer to friends up in Michigan

3. I draw bondage porn

4. I really love bloody marys

5. If I could have a super power, I'd pick the ability to control time

1: I have three tattoos , but most people only know about the visible one
2: I'd love to be in a relationship, but I require a LOT of space
3: I prefer animals to humans, and have more sympathy for animals.
4: I can't stand "silly" women.
5: My brass balls are internal..

1. I can juggle.
2. I’m terrified of bodies of water.
3. I brush my teeth 3-5 times a day.
4. I never wear shorts- even in the summer.
5. I grind my teeth when I’m lost in thought.

1. I am the 4th out of six children, first daughter. It was like the folks had a family of boys then a family of girls.

2. Of my 5 siblings, one has been married to the same person for over 30 years, one is a felon, one is a deadbeat dad and we have no idea where he is. One is a disabled vet, one is junkyard dog mean, and then there's me.

3. I make my own toothpaste (yes, mine has charcoal in it) and make my own deodorant, soap, lip balm, and other personal care items.

4. I cannot give blood in the US and haven't been able to for over 25 years. I lived in Germany in the 80s, and ate German cooked foods. I could be a carrier of Cruezfeldt Jakob disease, an acute spongiform encephalopahty. IOW mad cow. The baby I gave birth to in Germany CAN give blood in the US. Not fair. And if it is going to affect me it is going to start any time now.

5. My dad's baby brother married my mom's baby sister. So I had a double aunt and uncle and 2 double cousins.